Sweet creature

E I G H T

Sweet Creature | Square One.

Fuck it. You're not perfect, you have your issues. You've been broken, you've been uncertain and unsure. Sometimes you're difficult, sometimes you don't know what the fuck you're feeling but that doesn't change the fact that you deserve the type of love that will quiet the chaos within your soul

Unknown

Serenity

He was beautiful; and I know I say this a lot, almost every time I see those decorative Hazel blue eye's but it's true, he's just so god damn glorious.

His long black hair hangs low as he sits beside me, his posture sluggish, his attitude careless. But even through all the flaws, all I could think about was how good it felt sitting next to him. How good it felt to talk to him, and how good his eyes felt on mine.

The pages remain blank, it's been fifteen minutes going at this, and Kai has given me nothing. Every question I asked regarding love he dodged, or gave me blank meaningless statements. Absolutely nothing I could work with. But I wasn't giving up - he has a heart in there, somewhere deep deep down inside, and I know it beats - maybe not now, maybe not as strong but once before it beat - and I want to know what was it that made Kai Carson heart beat, and was it also the same reason why he no longer expressed his emotions. He was so blocked off- and it only made me want to invade him more.

"Whats you're favorite color?" I blur out, quickly. It wasn't on the list of questions, but that lips of questions didn't aline with Kai carson, so I would have to come at this at a different angel.

His eyebrows mash together in confusion, it was an odd question and completely unrelateable to the other strings of questions I've been asking him, but this is something I cared more about anyways. Getting to know him. Starting from square one.

"Black" He says

"Predictable," I shake my head "What was your favorite color growing up" I question, my voice soft but stern. I didn't bother picking up my pen to write this down because I was willing to learn him, inside out if I had to. And for some odd reason he gives me the vibes, where I'd have to pry and be consistent to see him- to truly see him.

It was a good thing I was patient. When My sister died, apart of my healing was patience, and grace. I prayed for it almost every night and eventually it became bearable, Now - I will be patient with Kai and hope it becomes bearable.

"Blue" He says, the tone in his voice filled with something I couldn't identify. It was a mix of joy and pain.

"And what was it about the color blue that you liked?" I question, I was surprised when he smiled at me - it was gone as quick as it came but still he smiled at me - just for a moment.

"You know you sound like my therapist right now" He says, his tone easy.

"You've had a therapist before?" I didn't mean to ask the question, it just felt like we were finally connecting, and he wouldn't be the only one. When my sister died my mother forced me to go to therapy to talk about it. I did it just to please my mom, and I talked during the sessions and it helped. But- not ever teenager has talked to therapist, so when you meet someone that bleeds just like you, it sparks your interest - and Kai Carson sparked my interests. More than Noah, more than anybody. He just felt more relatable. The damaged boy, with the bad reputation felt most relatable to me.

"A couple," He admits " None of them ever working"

"You seem like the type to push people away" I say, looking him in his eyes. Now I really must sound like a therapist.

"And you seem like the type to hide behind your books, with your head stuck in the clouds, and your thoughts full of possibilities." He shoots back.

Wow, he pretty much didn't miss. Well, except for the great loss part, but everything else was spot on.

I bite my lip, embarrassed of myself. This whole time I thought I was being invisible but people could clearly see through me, or maybe it was just him. Maybe he was the only one that could see through me. Did my eyes tell the story, my lips didn't ? Or had he been watching me long enough to see past the facade.

Or , maybe hurt recognizes hurt.

"Maybe you're right." I whisper back, looking down at my shoes because looking at him was far too embarrassing.

"You know you can stop it right" he says.

I look up.

My eyes meeting his again. I frown my eyebrows in confusion.

"Stop what?" I ask.

"The pain, because caring makes you weak"

I didn't agree. I rather feel pain then nothing at all.

"I rather feel pain then nothing at all" I admit. Looking him in his beautiful eyes. He's held me captive again with his gaze, Just being here I was sweep away by him.

And I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the feeling.

Before either one of us could say anything the lunch bell rung.

The thirty minutes flew by when I talked to Kai, and was it weird that I wanted to keep talking to him? That I wanted to keep trying to solve the puzzle that he was. To invade his personal space, and get to the root so I could heal him- because a soul like his needed healing. He was so consumed with his own darkness, he needed light.

Maybe I could be that light - or maybe I was just fooling myself. I mean I have my own demon, I have my own problems and somehow all I could think about was his, and how I could somehow fix them. It was as if gravity was pulling me towards him, and I weak against stopping it.

Kai says nothing as he gets up and exits the Library, leaving me stuck in the trance of him - his smell still lingering even after he was gone.

"Serenity" Noah's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

I smile, it doesn't reach my eyes as I look up at his ice blue eyes.

"We're you talking to Kai Carson?" He questions, his tone sharp and full of obvious judgment.

I begin to gather my things.

"Yes, we have an assignment together for English literature. He's just my partner." I don't know why I felt the need to justify the reason on why I was hanging out with Kai, Noah and anybody else who cared should mind their own business. Because I could talk to whoever I wanted, and I didn't want to get a big lecture about it. Everyone in this school has made it pretty clear on how they felt about Kai Carson - I mean he didn't have the best reputation, but who cares.

I didn't.

"Look, I don't want to tell you who you should or shouldn't hang out with, but Kai Carson is bad news serenity," He pauses, looking up at me. "Just be careful, Kai has a dark past and I don't think you'll be able to handle it." I frown. Noah didn't know what I could or couldn't handle, he didn't know anything about me, and what I've been through, and what I was strong enough for. I don't respond, I just walk past him, leaving and heading to my next period.
All I had on my mind was Kai - and how I needed more of him.