So Much More

Suppressed Feelings

Author note:

Hello welcome. I don't know if I ever would continue this story and would love to hear what you think of this. This is all very exciting and new to me and I have been inspired to write about them for a week now. And here it is. I hope you enjoy.

                   

                   

                   

Dakota Johnson had grown up in the hustle and bustle that made up Hollywood. She had seen more than a dozen of promising actors and actresses lose themselves in fame and fortune. She had always wondered if she would be another victim that would succumb to the Hollywood norm; starting with the partying, the drugs and the incurable obsession with attention.

So far in her twenty-eight years, she had risen above it all. She had an amazing support system and understanding parents, so that probably helped. But she had never found fame like this, where everyone recognized her and would do anything she asked of them. From adoring fans to the studio people, when she asked them to jump, their only answer would be asking how high she wanted them. It was insane, it was fascinating yet it was her life. This was supposed to be normal, she needed to get used to it.

There was only one other person in this entire planet who understood what she was going through; Jamie. And even though she longed to find comfort and safety in his reassurances, she couldn't. Not now, not ever. He was married, for Christ's sake. He loved his wife Amelia, more than she thought was possible. They had a wonderful daughter together whom she had spent some time with on set. And another one coming soon. His wife was very lovely although a little distant. On some occasions, Amelia had even taken her out to lunch on a couple occasions. That had to count for something.

So even as she felt drawn to him, she couldn't do anything about it. Better to have him as a friend than to see disgust in his eyes–or worst, pity–when he rejected her advances. No, she would never lose Jamie like that.

From the beginning, she had always found him fascinating. Maybe it was his accent, or the funny way he walked which she found somehow intriguing or maybe deep down it was just him. He who loved to make her laugh until the point which they had to reshoot an entire scene with her giggling throughout the whole take. They were always in each other's toes, trying to out do one another whether it was who could finish a scene with the least amount of retakes or other silly shenanigans they seemed to always find themselves in.

The first time they had met was on his audition after Charlie left. She had contemplated leaving the franchise and the studios had given her a chance to do just that. Her manager had also advised her to go ahead with it. There was a stigma that if an actor left, it would be like a curse had befallen onto the movie. It would flunk in the box office and still wouldn't make the right amount of money in either DVD or the small screen.

Unfortunately for her manager, Dakota had grown up not believing in any kind of Hollywood superstitions. Both her parents had always followed their hearts when taking any kind of roles; they did projects they believed in and fallen in love with the characters that they played. They did what they wanted, not what people thought they should do. So she followed her heart because she fell in love with the story. Anastasia and Christian's relationship might very well be fucked up–for a lack of better terms–but it was also a story that needed to be put out there.

She wanted to play Ana and bring an element of herself to the story; to make the character stronger, more sure of herself and maybe just a little bit of humor. Maybe it sounded insane because the story is far from the romance comedy she loved, but there has got to be a balance in the whole story. An element of humor, even just a tiny bit with the way she talked and the way she seemed more nervous in some moments would make the heavier elements more bearable.