Back At Their Side (completed)

Part Nine - The Talk

POV Tara
I watched the farmhouse get closer frowning as this didn't make sense "do you live here?"
I felt Philip tense beside me at my question "it's one of our properties, this one has been useful recently" he replied.
I turn to him "you knew I would be coming?" "How could you know"
The car stopped and I shrank back in the seat, not wanting to get out of the car, if I did I would again be under his control.
Philip got out and came round the car, holding out his hand to help me out. I shook my head at him and he leant down closer, I tensed.
"do I need to remind you of what happens when you disobey me" he said quietly holding my gaze.
It was as if the last five years had never happened as I automatically replied "no sir" and bowed my head to him whilst mentally kicking myself.
"Good girl, now come, we have a lot to discuss" Philip said and this time I took the hand he offered.
Philip lead me inside and towards the study "sit" he said then we to pour two drinks, handing me one before going round the desk to sit down.
I looked at him, the last five years had hardened his features into a raw masculine beauty, not flawless, he still had the small scar on his jaw but his whole bearing was strong, this man has no weakness, I sighed waiting for him to begin, what did he have planned and where were the others? That thought made me tense "are you here alone?" I asked him fearfully.
"At present yes" he replied watching me.
"I...I please let me go" I pleaded.
"No" came him firm strong response.
"Philip please , we can't go back to what we had before, it's not right, not safe, just no, please" I cried sinking back into the chair I was in.
"We had a deal, let you leave but with conditions, you are mine and I am not letting you go again" he bit back pushing back the chair and coming to stand in front of me.
"It will be different from before, you have grown, we have grown and this time you are aware of how this relationship works"
"Do you know what I went through, the comments I endured, the...." I trailed off suddenly feeling drained by the emotions threatening to overwhelm me.
Philips hands cupped my face lifting my gaze up to his "the..?" He queried.
I bit the inside of my lip in agitation "nothing" I whispered.
"Your lying, you know better than to lie to me, now tell me" a hand moved round and into my hair gripping enough to prevent me dropping my gaze away from him.
"The abuse" I whispered.
His grip tightened dragging a small whimper from me "what abuse?" He demanded.
"Philip...please don't do this" I begged.
"What abuse" he repeated looking at me "was it mental or physical?"
I stared back at him my eyes glazing over with the memories, a tear tracked down my cheek but I couldn't feel anything whilst I was locked in the memory.
"Tara, tell me" his voice and grip gentled but he didn't let go.
"The first time.....You were away with Matt, some family issues I think.....I was revising at the apartment for my finals when he came. He seemed surprised to see me there and wasn't aware we had got marrie...d, he taunted me about the type of relationships you had and and ..and said he joined in, he touched my leg and tried to push up my skirt and kiss me, I pushed him off and locked myself in our room, he stood outside and laughed as he kept repeating what he was going to do and that no one would believe me. He was right"
"What do you mean he was right, who was it and why didn't you tell me" Philip asked now kneeling in front of me so we were face to face.
"I told Caroline, she came later that day after he had gone, she called me a liar and slapped me, told me never to tell you or she would make my life hell" I continued my mind still showing me the memories so I missed the look of fury that chased across his face. "Go on" he prompted "Tell me"
"You were away for a week at that time and when you came back there was a party at Matt's, Caroline was angry with me as Matt kept paying me attention, so she told me what people were saying about us, that you were bored with me so you had given me to your best friend to use for sex, cheaper than a mistress she said laughing at me, then she pinched me on my arm, I told you later i had knocked my arm on a branch when you saw the bruise...."
Philip took my hands in his and gently squeezed "go on" he prompted again.
I sighed "are you sure you want to hear this"
"Tara, I'm sure, now tell me what happened, I need to know because you're not going anywhere"
"It was quiet for a month after that party, I finished my exams, you were around more, they kept away but then... then we all went to the same house party and they were there, it was strange, Caroline apologised and said we should start over, I was stupid and believed her, she invited me to join her on a ride and I went, I think you and Matt had joined the shooting party.... We rode out to the village as she wanted to post a letter, when we were there he.......he......pulled, he pulled me off the horse and dragged me into a cottage, Caroline just watched, she took my horse and left me there, with him"
I could feel the tears falling silently down my face, Philip raised his hand to brush them away but paused when I flinched.
"Can I have another drink" I asked him needing the liquid courage to continue.
He rose from my feet and poured a generous drink for both of us, drinking his before passing me mine, this time however he reached down and lifted me out of the chair, I squeaked, my hands griping the glass trying not to spill it over him.
He moved across to the sofa and sat down with me on his lap.
"Phili" I started only to be cut off "drink your drink darling, then tell me the rest, we're not leaving this room till I know everything" he said his arms tightening around me.
I gulped the drink down, feeling the brandy burn down my throat and into my stomach, warming, numbing and relaxing me. Philip put my glass on the table and adjusted me so I was sitting sideways across his lap, so he could see my face.
"Ready to go on" he queried.
"Yes...no.." I sighed and leant against him drawing from his strength "Caroline left me there and he dragged me into the house, I struggled and screamed and he just laughed, I hit him and he slapped me back, I remember hitting the wall then blackness, w..when I woke up I was.........naked and couldn't move, I was tied to a bed with rope around my body spreading me out, he had put a blindfold on me, and I could hear him moving around, I asked him to let me go, I begged, I was terrified and he just laughed, then he started touching...." I gasped out a sob trapped in my head in what had happened "he used sex toys on my body, he pinched my breasts and ..."
"And" Philip prompted quietly "did he rape you?"
"No, he was playing, taunted me that he could do this and no one would know, he hit me with what felt like a bat or paddle and pushed in his toys" I tensed thinking of the next part not knowing how to say what happened next.
Philip felt my change in posture and stroked a calming hand down my back "tell me, what else" his softly voiced command made me respond.
"He took pictures of me, his hands on me, his toys in me, pictures of me helpless" I cried giving into the overwhelming emotion "he told me he would show everyone if I said anything, he told me he would tell my father and that it would kill him to see the whore his daughter had become"
Philips arms tightened and soothed me "how did we not know?" He questioned confusion in his voice then it clicked in his mind "the riding accident, are you telling me it wasn't an accident" he groaned.
I had told him the worst and felt lighter for telling him, so the next part was the final piece to reveal.  "After he had finished playing...he held a pillow over my face until I blacked out, next tine I woke up I was in hospital and you were by my bed with Caroline, you told me I had fallen in the woods, Caroline said I had taken off on the horse and she had lost me and it wasn't until the horse returned without me that a search had started. I had been found in the woods unconscious and bruised but fully clothed, I had no proof of what he had done, how could I tell you what he did to me, I thought maybe I was going mad, was I imagining everything" I stopped and looked at Philip "I was scared, I was inexperienced and I felt trapped by our relationship, by the situation I was in, I didn't know what to do"
I rested in Philips arms wrung out emotionally from telling the truth. His sudden stillness made me tense waiting for his response.
"Tara, I need you to say his name to confirm to me it's him, until you can he is going to have a hold over you mentally, say his name and I can deal with him"
I shook my head, "I can't.. please don't make me, just let me go home"
His arms tightened again at my words almost painfully this time. "You are home and you're never leaving again.  I will deal with him and Caroline and once they are dealt with I will deal with you, you should have told us, we could have sorted this out years ago, but the core fault is ours, we should have recognised what was going on, we should have protected you, Matt will be here soon and this time we will make sure that you are very clear about our relationship moving forward"
Matt was coming here, I tensed I couldn't go back into this relationship, they would hurt me again, I jumped up out of Philips lap and ran for the door, tearing it open I ran through the house towards the kitchen door, Philip shouted my name behind me, if I could make it to the Manor House across the orchards, it was about half a mile and would bring me out at the stables, I could get help to get away.
I trip twice over roots as I keep looking behind me, the alcohol and stress also slowing and unbalancing me. I could see the stables coming up and risked another glance behind, wondering where he was and if he was letting me go, I could see no one chasing me, I took a deep breath and climbed over the fence towards the stables, I heard a car driving up the estate road and paused, sighing in relief as it slowed then drove on past, peaking road the corner of the building I could see nobody about, I relaxed, I could do this and took a step forward, shocked as I collided with something hard.
"Going somewhere baby" I deep voice made me freeze in recognition, my eyes raising to lock with his stunning blue ones "Matt" I whispered as black spots surrounded my vision and I fell into the darkness as his arms came round me.