The Gravely Journal

Another Showdown

Asshole: usually vulgar :

2a usually vulgar : a stupid, annoying, or detestable person

b usually vulgar : the least attractive or desirable part or area —used in phrases like the asshole of the world

I seriously considered writing to the publishers of dictionaries. My idea was, every edition, electronic or printed, should include a photo of Alec Crim beside the definition of the word "asshole". It could be a head and shoulders shot, or a full photo – black or white. Didn't matter. People everywhere should just be informed, for posterity sake, the man was synonymous with the word in every sense of its negativity.

What the Englishman did to me that night in the cemetery was totally unnecessary, particularly since I'd done his dirty work for him, blowing up father and all. Yes, I'd stolen his precious lighter, but it was a spoil of war. Right? Hitting me over the head the way he did was very self-serving on his part. All he had to do was incapacitate me. He could have used a touch of chloroform on a cloth held over my nose and mouth. Handcuffing me would have done the trick. Hitting me over the head was stupid and dangerous. The guy had seen too many movies, I guess. More likely, he was a vindictive woman hater.

In medical terms, a blow to the head, or anywhere else, is called blunt force trauma as opposed to sharp force trauma as would occur with a knife or some other cutting instrument. When the blow is to the head, it is called a blunt head injury. The degree of force required to render someone unconscious is completely unpredictable and varies from situation to situation and from person to person. Though a minor tap on the head is not likely to cause unconsciousness in anyone, almost any blow of significant force can. It makes no difference where the blow strikes the head as far as causing unconsciousness is concerned.

Where blunt force head injury is concerned, the resulting unconsciousness caused by the concussion rarely lasts more than a few seconds or minutes. It's like what you see in the boxing ring. When one prizefighter clobbers his opponent, the guy on the floor is generally out of commission less than a minute. Yeah, the result of the hit makes you groggy and confused, but I don't think that what's Crim was going for. He wanted me out like a light and hurting. So I played his game, even though I came to just as he was throwing me over his bony shoulder. Then he schlepped up the hill and piled me into the back of the graver mobile.