Forbidden Fantasies

Chapter 8: Actions

A few weeks had passed by, and Tj and I was on a steady path. We hung out like everyday, since he practically live on his own. It was now the day before before graduation. I had got accepted into Winston-Salem State University and low and behold so did Tj. So when we did our Housing we requested to house together, plus our majors were in the same field, so it worked out perfect.

We was at the mall looking for outfits for the both of us to wear tomorrow for graduation. I actually had to look for two outfits since I had two graduations.

We was checking out, when I noticed that the sales clerk was dead ass starring Tj up and down.

"Will this be together or separate." She said looking only at Tj

"I will be together!" I said pushing the clothes together, giving her a fake smile

She rung everything up, and gave the total. When we began to walk off, she blurted

"And you make sure you come back and see me with your sexy ass!" Winking at Tj

I started to turn around and yank her across that counter, but Tj grabbed me and we continued out the store.

We grabbed something to eat from the food court and found a seat.

"Jason what was wrong with you in that store," Tj said taking a sip of his tea

"I'm sorry about that Bae, I totally forgot that we're not openly gay, but that Bitch, I mean girl, was really trying it.

"Exactly! So you can't be going upside everyone head that try to talk to me, we just have to ignore them and keep it moving," he said grabbing onto my hands.

"I know, I know, I still have to work on that," I said looking down at my food.

We finished eating and headed back to his place.

"So when do you think your dad and sister are going to arrive," I said helping clean the living room

"They supposed to get here around 5pm," he said tossing me a pillow

"Are you excited for them to come, it's been like 6 months since you seen them right? I said following him into the guess bed room

"I mean its whatever to me, like I honestly feel like if it wasn't the right thing to do, they wouldn't even come to the graduation. There both so invested into their work, in the last thing they are worried about," he said folding the sheets back

"Don't think like that bae, if they were so invested into their work they wouldn't even be coming. They care about you, they just don't know how to show it emotionally." I said rubbing his back

"That's the thing! They don't know how to show emotions, they think by sending me money and all that, that it should suffice, and it don't! But like I said, I don't let those things stop me from being me, that's why I love you so much cause you've been there with me throughout the end of the semester, and my college application, and decision. " he said standing between my legs

"Love Me? You in love with me?" I said looking into his eyes

"Jason! Hell yeah I'm in Love with you, I say it to you all the time," he said intertwining our hands

"Yeah when we having sex, but that is the first time you have said that when we are having a conversation.

"Jason! When I say it during sex, I mean it, and Ive been knew that I loved you, and to be honest, I think I'm going to let my sister and dad know when they get here. I feel like it's time and I don't want for it to be a secret anymore," he said kissing on my forehead

"You dead ass! What do you think they will say, or react to it. What if they don't agree with you life choice, are you ready for it," I said standing up

"I honestly don't care how they feel Jason, it's my life, you only have one, and you can't live it not being free because then you are not going to be able to fully enjoy your life. If they accept me, it's makes it better, if they don't, they don't." He said heading to the kitchen

"I'm just saying family is forever, you don't want to have any bad blood cause at the end of the day you are probably going to need them later down the road," I said grabbing a water.

"Jason, why do it feel like you are not encouraging me to do this, aren't you tired of sneaking around behind your moms back, not having me there when you go out with your friends and they all hugged up with their boo's, not being able to post us, when we out having a good time. Cause I know I'm tired of that. I can't really enjoy our relationship when we have to hide it.

"I mean yeah, but it's like, deep down inside I don't want to lose anyone, or have someone mad at me, or lose hope in my future because of my sexuality. It's a lot to handle, and I really don't think I'm ready." I said looking into my hands.

"Well I guess you don't really love me than cause I don't want to have to hide it no more, and I'm going to tell my dad and sister regardless, with or without." He said snatching his hands away

"Tj! Please don't be like that. We never have discussed that option, and no all of a sudden, you want me to blurt out to my mom and frriends, that I'm gay, and have been dating a whole Nigga for 6 months. Like that's not an easy task to complete in a day! Like you have to be reasonable here." I said following him upstairs

"Reasonable! Reasonable! What the Hell do you mean Reasonable ! That is reasonable, When your in love with someone, it don't matter what everyone else thinks. If they really love you, they will continue to love you despite your Damn sexuality. It's not their life, it's your! And you have to decide how YOU are goin to live it! Fuck what everyone else thinks! That's how Love Works! And if you really Love Me, and want to continue to be with me, that is a task I'm going to need you to complete because I want all of you, not half of you!" He said walking into the bathroom

I fell back the bed, and just held my head. It was spinning and I really just looked up at the ceiling as if continued to spin. Tj was very right, and yes, deep down inside I would love for us to be free, and be public with our relationship when we want to be, but I just really don't want to lose anyone Close to me, and have been there for me.

But Like he said if they really do Love me, they will continually Love me despite anything else. I just don't know how I want to go about this. My mother is not the easiest person to talk to, and my friends, I'm not so much worried about, it's not like it would be changing the way I act around them. My Mother is the hardest pill I have to take.

"Love Is Stupid!" I said laughing to myself, sitting back up in the bed, as Jason walked back into the room.

"Come here baby," I said motioning Tj to sit next to me. "I really appreciate you pouring your heart out to me, and you're exactly right, if we are going to make this work, we have to be on the same page, emotionally and physically. And I do Love You, and definitely don't want to lose you, I should actually be applauding you for even wanting to take this next step in our relationship. It's a scary step, and if we fall, I would want you to be there to catch me, and I definitely will be there to catch you!" I said looking him in his eyes

"This is exactly why I am in Love With You! You think with your heart, not your mind, and you are genuine with your shit, and that's the exact type of energy I want to be around me!" He said flipping me over, now straddling me across the bed. "Will allow me to be your King, and protect you amongst all things that might happen." He said as he began to passionately kiss me. It felt so perfect, and basically sealed the deal for me.

I realized at that moment, that I am dealing with a real man, and not some Fuck boy, that just want sex and that's it. He genuinely cares for me, and I genuinely care for him. I really hopes this works out for the both of us. But Like I always say....... Only Time Will Tell!

~ One Love ~ SueSue14