Chapter 10 : falling apart

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Shizuka's pov
The next day after Eisuke's kiss. I get up from the bed earlier than usual. Its not like I was able to sleep anyways. I don't want to meet Eisuke's gaze today. I don't know if I could handle it.
But...what about his coffee then? Oh my god. Fuck the coffee. Why should I care?! I really need to get back to my senses. This is going to be over soon. But...I am still going to have to work with him on our new project together. It will take some time but atleast we won't be living together! I should focus on my work. It helps me take my mind off things for sometime. I am thinking when my phone rings.
Shizuka: Who is calling this early? Oh, its Hikori.
Hmm, I haven't talked to her in a long time... No wonder she is calling. I know she is going to shower me with lots of questions. *sigh* Anyway, I should pick up or she won't stop calling.
Shizuka: Hey, Hikori.
Hikori: HEY?! Thats all you are going to say to your best friend after literally blocking her out from your life?!
Shizuka: Jeez, Such overacting. I never blocked you from my life or anything....
Hikori: Oh yeah? Then why didn't you call me after the IVC. Its been weeks now.Besides where did you disappear after the party. I was looking for you!
Shizuka: Sorry, I was kind of......busy.
Hikori: Oh my god! I got it!
Shizuka: what?
Hikori: You are in a relationship with someone right?!
Shizuka: What?! Of course not! Don't be ridiculous.
Hikori: Oh, maybe not in relationship but you are definitely in love!
Shizuka: I just told you to stop being ridiculous.
Hikori: I can't see any other reason for your recent behaviour alright. A love expert like me can tell just from the tone of your voice that you have fallen for someone. Tell me, who is the lucky man?
Shizuka: No one! If you are going to talk about this then I am going to hang up. I have to go get ready.
Hikori: Fine, fine we will talk later. But we WILL talk, okay?
Shizuka: Yes mam.
Hikori: okay then buh- bye...
Shizuka: Bye, it felt nice talking to you. And sorry for not calling you sooner.
Hikori: Oh god... The Shizuka Misaki is apologizing to me. You really have changed. And don't worry I am not mad at you. I am here if you need anything.
Shizuka: Thanks Hikori. Bye.
Hikori: bye.

What did Hikori mean? Me, in love? seriously, with who? I think jokingly but only one face pops up in my mind.
No....anyone but him. I can't get swayed away just because he kissed me....twice and once when we were alone. Eisuke...
I look through my stuff which I brought to the penthouse a few days ago when I find a box. Oh my god... I didn't know this was here.
Its a tin box in which I used to keep all my treasured possessions. I don't  know how  it came with my stuff here but I haven't opened it in years. I think and open the lid. And in it, along with a few things is.......the pendant with letter 'E' on it which Eisuke gave to me many years ago. He gave it to me the day we confessed our feelings for each other....I still remember that night like it was yesterday. It feels so nostalgic. My chest tightens at the sight of that pendant. We promised each other that we would never leave each other's side and yet..... I don't know why but but my eyes become watery on remembering this. Eisuke has so much impact in my life.
But no. This was in the past. Eisuke doesn't care. I have to move on too. Maybe I should start having normal relationships too. I want someone who understands me, cares for me and  loves me but I just don't find anyone. Because......there is only one person like that.....Eisuke. The only one who understands...or atleast used to understand me more than I did myself.
*sigh* my life is so messed up. Am I starting to have feelings for Eisuke again? No, it just can't be. All these years...I have always hated him. And I will in the future too. I have to stay away from him.
I don't realize how much time has passed and in the end I end up getting ready at the normal time like I usually do. Great. No use of getting up early, I wasted my time in strolling down the memory lane and now I am going to pay for it. My plan to avoid Eisuke has totally failed and as expected when I walk out in the living room, I am greeted by irritated glare of Eisuke.
Eisuke: Coffee.
Shizuka:*sigh* yes.
I try not to make eye contact. I am brewing coffee when Eisuke suddenly says...
Eisuke: Bucci is sighning the deal today.
Shizuka: Oh thats great! Finally its done.
Eisuke: Don't get excited just yet. Don't let your gaurd down unless the Buccis leave from japan. Bucci's men are everywhere around him so if they find out.......
Shizuka: Yeah, yeah I got it.
I make his usual extra sweet coffee and bring it over to him. He is reading news on his tablet and doean't look up when I give him his coffee. I wonder if he remembers that night when he gave me the pendant. I don't think so.
And he must definitely  not remember the scrapbook I had made on his birthday which read 'I love you' in the end. *sigh*. I sigh and look away.
Eisuke: What are you sighing first thing in the morning?
Oops...he heard me sigh.
Shizuka: Nothing that concerns you, don't bother.
Eisuke: oh, is that so.
Maybe I said it to harshly. I look at him and find him smirking. Huh?
Shizuka: what?
Eisuke: Just thinking how bad you are at hiding things from me.
Shizuka: what do you mean?
Eisuke: I know you head to toe, inside out. You are not the kind of person who would sigh for no reason. So tell already. I am all ears.
(is he saying this because he is worried? Definitely not. He just wants to make sure that I don't screw up)
He props up his head on his hand, his elbow on the couch and smirks at me knowingly.
He looks so sexy like that.

I can't keep my eyes off him

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I can't keep my eyes off him.
Eisuke: What? You aren't going to tell me? Or should I gag you?
Shizuka: I told you already! Its nothing. Just some office stuff.
(liar...)
Eisuke: Oh now I get it. You are sad because you won't be able to live with me anymore.
Shizuka: What?! I am so happy about leaving this place soon.
Eisuke: Uh-huh.
Eisuke doesn't seem convinced. Ugh.
Shizuka: Anyway. Look at the time. Shit! I have to go. I am going to be late for a meeting!!!
Eisuke: You are hopeless you know that?
Shizuka: Shut up.
We keep bantering as I hurry and get to my office...

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