Today, Tomorrow & Forever (Book 11 in the Forever Series)

Chapter 17

Nick 

If you're a parent, you know the feeling that you get when you see your child in trouble or when they're sick. That sense of regret & sadness, sympathy & guilt, panic & sorrow, consumes you. Seeing your child dead creates a feeling that combines all of those sense then multiplies it times twenty. I had that feeling once before, when I saw my daughter, Delaney come into the world, lifeless. That exact feeling came over me when I saw Mercy, unconscious on the floor, her head in her friend's lap. She was pale & looked as if she weren't breathing. For several seconds, while I ran to her side, I thought another one of my baby girls was dead. I panicked. I screamed out her name. Tears stung my eyes.

The relief that settled into my body, when I felt a faint thumping on her wrist, made me almost giddy. I grabbed my daughter's face, crying out for her to wake up as I shook her, slightly. I tapped her cheeks with my fingers, then Joe came over to check her pupils. He pulled out his phone & dialed 911, thankfully, since I wasn't thinking clearly, in that moment.

"Alcohol poisoning." I heard Joe say it, but I couldn't believe it. My baby couldn't be drunk. She knew the risks of drinking with Diabetes. She wasn't even old enough, but I had discussed that topic with her, once when we were talking about things she would have to watch out for when she was older. What the hell was she thinking tonight? What made her want to drink? I heard Joe tell the 911 operator that Mercy was Diabetic & I closed my eyes. I hated hearing that word, describing my own child, but it was the reality & all I could do was pray that there was a cure in her lifetime.

I heard Demi crying, then felt her grab my shirt, so I turned my head, to look over my shoulder. "She has a pulse. She's alive, Demi." I said, trying to keep my voice steady, so it might help Demi calm down. I looked at her face, the one I've loved for decades, now crumpled in agony & her eyes that were filled with guilty tears made my heart hurt. I could see it in my wife's body language, the way her shoulders slumped & the way she fell to her knees, covering her mouth with her hand. I knew she blamed herself & that broke my heart, because I had a feeling Demi thought I blamed her. I needed to comfort her & tell her I didn't, but I had to tend to Mercy, at that moment. I also had to convince myself that I wasn't to blame. I could feel the guilt eating away at me. 

As her father, it's my job to protect her & somehow I let this happen. If she was unconscious because of her Diabetes, I was to blame for that. It was my fault she had it. I knew I wasn't thinking rationally, but I couldn't stop the thoughts.

It seemed to take forever for the paramedics to arrive, probably since it was New Year's Eve. I didn't want to let go of her, but the two paramedics needed to get to Mercy. I stood there, watching them work on my daughter, not really believing that this was actually happening. It felt like a dream, but when I heard Demi sobbing beside me, I realized how real this was. I put my arm around Demi's shoulders & held her close to me. Her arms went around my waist, as if she needed to hold onto me, or she'd be on the floor again. 

I let Demi ride in the ambulance with Mercy, while Joe drove me to the hospital. I assumed someone would make sure the rest of my children got home okay, since most of my family & a lot of my friends were there. Joe tried to comfort me as we followed the ambulance to the hospital, but it wasn't helping. I was still freaking out about Mercy. She had alcohol poisoning, so she'd have to be hooked up to an IV, but she also could slip into a Diabetic coma if her sugar dropped too low. 

"She will be fine, Nick. She will get her to the hospital & they will get fluids into her & get her sugar regulated & she will be fine." Joe's voice shook, so I knew he was worried about his niece. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself, while trying to convince me.