Today, Tomorrow & Forever (Book 11 in the Forever Series)

Chapter 19

Nick

I was glad I finally got everything off my chest, but I still felt defeated as I walked down the stairs, away from my wife. It seemed metaphorical because my steps were taking me further & further away from her just as my heart had been feeling since New Year's Eve. I walked slower than normal because I was desperately clinging to a faith I had in my Demi. Deep down in the depths of my heart & soul I knew the love Demi & I had for each other, was strong enough to get us through anything. That part of me was optimistic, thinking there was no way Demi would let me leave.

Over the years of knowing Demi, as my best friend & as my wife, I have learned how she handled situations. I knew she closed herself off sometimes, so she wouldn't end up hurting someone she cared about. She still did it with me, even though we've been through so much together & have been married for years. When she was fearful, it was even worse, which is why I kept my mouth shut for the last few weeks. I was giving her space. I wasn't pushing her to talk to me. She was scared & I knew this. I was also terrified, but I handled fear differently. I pushed through it. I tried to fix it & make it better, even when it seemed hopeless. I didn't like to give up.

Besides being scared, I knew Demi was overwhelmed with many other emotions. I also knew she was mad, that I told Mercy that story from our past, but that anger was minuscule compared to all the other feelings. I could tell by her gestures, no matter how subtle. I could tell by comments she made & by her tone of voice which was a dead giveaway on how she felt. I knew Demi, better than anyone else did, so I felt like I had the upper hand right now.

Once I was downstairs, my feet felt heavy as I walked to the closet, opening it slowly & taking my jacket out. I put it on, glancing up to the top of the stairs, yearning to see her smiling down at me before she came down to stop me from leaving. My heart ached, not seeing her & as the silence filled my ears, my heart broke. I couldn't hear her opening our bedroom door. I wasn't hearing her panicked footsteps coming toward the stairs. I didn't hear her voice calling out my name, letting me know she didn't want me to leave. I wanted to cry because the deafening silence was like a knife to my heart. As more minutes went by, not hearing anything, my heart was losing faith in my wife & in my marriage.

When I finished putting my jacket on, I grabbed my keys then stood in the middle of the foyer, looking up at the hallway that led to the staircase. In my chest, it felt like some kind of animal was using a hammer to escape its confines & the thumping was almost painful. I was trying to hang on to the small sliver of hope I still had in my heart, but I could feel it disappearing as the hands on the clock kept moving forward. That lump that had invaded my throat, on the fateful last night of 2032, was still as obvious as it was when it first made its appearance & now it was getting harder to swallow without feeling excruciating pain. I was finding it more difficult to breathe, as I realized how much time had passed since I walked out of our bedroom. Fifteen minutes.

I blinked rapidly as I inhaled, facing the fact that Demi wasn't going to stop me. She wasn't ready to talk yet. She was still trying to figure out exactly why she was so angry at me. She was sorting out all the emotions she had going on in her body right now. I knew my wife & I knew she needed more time. Maybe when I got back from Joe's later, she would be better. Maybe a day alone in our home, was what she needed to sort out her feelings.

Finally, after several minutes of convincing myself to leave, I turned & started walking toward the front door. I reached for the doorknob, gripping it & staring at it for a moment, before I actually turned it, to open the door. My chest tightened, thinking about walking out of it, but it was crystal clear Demi needed to be alone with her thoughts. I stepped through the threshold & just as I was pulling the door closed behind me, I heard Demi cry out my name.