Loving My Ex Lover

Chapter 3: Moving on

1 Year Later.....

How funny time flies, sa mga may pinagdadaanan. It seems to run really slow, and the nights just seems to endless and forever. But still, I was able to cope up with the pain. The pain Lindon gave me, I did my best to cope up with the situation. And the fact that he isn't the man who'll come back to me, and I have to accept that our short lived romance is nothing but a failed attempt for him..but for me. That six months taught me how to love and how to be patient when the man I am inlove with doesn't feel the same way..as much as I do.

Letting go is never easy, but sometimes...we just have to let it go. When everything is just breaking you into pieces, when it's becoming too unhealthy, and when the pain is unbearable already. I ignored my friends whenever they tell me that my dearest Lindon is flirting in the bar with some women. Kahit iba na ang hampas sa akin, it's like I was being backstabbed and I just let it happen. Worst? He just wont stop making sex on top of his lists. I don't want sex, I want him to make love with me. Real love making, and not just some making out scheme.

Kaya naman, I broke down when he made me feel that way on that night. He doesn't care about me, my feelings, my emotions..he only cares about making out and having sex. It took me long, but at least..nakamove on din ako.

One thing I've learned during those days that I am hurting? Bar isn't that a bad place but of course not to where I know he would be there, so I get to spend more time with my friends just so to keep my head busy so I won't be thinking about Lindon anymore.

But this time, I know he will be here too. It's an invitation that I cannot say no, since one year naman. I think, I can now face him. Well, at least. I am not alone.

I saw my friends and James, kumaway ako and began to take my steps to where they are at. This is the place where I met Lindon for the first time, and in this bar. Common friends exist, kaya habang naglalakd I get to greet some of them. Give them kisses, hugs, his and hellos. Nang malapit na ako kina James, I saw Lindon with his friends and he saw me too. I throw him a look, tapos tanaw ko si James na palapit na sakin. Kaya ngumiti ako rito at medyo minadali na din ang paghakbang. I walk pass through Lindon, at diretso sa mga kasama ko.

James, we have been going out for five months already. My brother introduced me to him, tapos iyon. He's a nice guy, gentleman, and sweet and thoughtful. Dati lagi kong sinasabi, he's exactly Lindon's opposite. The party went on, laughter, drinks and music. I can feel my new life is doing well. Kinapa ko ang sarili ko, ang puso ko. Thank goodness, wala naman akong nararamdamang kakaiba upon looking at him earlier, ibig sabihin. Naka move on na ako.

Ang tagal din, for a six month long relationship, it took me seven months to finally be able to get up again. Paano naman kasi, my Lola liked Lindon. Sabi niya, he isn't the sweetest guy a woman could fall for pero he is goodlooking at boto daw siya rito. My nieces and nephews, kahit naman nakikita kong hindi siya mahilig sa bata at iritable siya kapag kinukulit siya ng mga ito. He'd been trying his best din to play with them, and he did well.

Kaya nga, sabi ko. He's worth all the waiting na gagawin ko, kasi he never fail to make me fall for him everyday. But I was wrong, all of my waitings turned into nothing but ashes of yesterday. Pain that had left me broken for seven months, and tears that seemed to be endless.

Thanks to the new guy whom my brother brought into my life, he's got good sense of humor and likes kids and never heard him complained even if we end up spending night at my Grandma's hospital room. Iyon nga lang, she would sometimes mistook him as Lindon. Mabuti na nga lang at pasensyuso siya, he just would play the role of being Lindon just so he could make my Grandma laugh.

It was hard and difficult, that night. Domoble ang sakit nang lumabas siya ng pinto, doon ko lang narealize na sobrang nagpakatanga ako sa isang lalaking napaka insensitive. If he just show a little sensitivity, I might have taken my words back when I told him that I was letting him ho. Pero wala, he just left me alone with my tears and my heart broken.

Akala ko, I would never feel love again. Kasi, I trully fell inlove with him. And if he only waited for a little bit more, baka naibigay ko sa kanya ang gusto niya. Well, things happened for reasons. Maybe, hindi lang talaga kami para sa isa't-isa. At kahit pa sabihing minahal ko siya, maybe..he is not the one who is meant for me. Having James with me made me realize that yes, Lindon isn't the one for me.

Five months na kaming lumalabas ni James, but he didn't bother asking me kung kami na ba o ano. He is patient enough, kaya naman my Dad liked him. Ang haba daw ng pasensya, humahanga din naman ako sa pasensya niya. It's one reason kung bakit kami nagtagal, even with just being labeled to as dating..and not a couple. Wala la g sa kanya, sabi niya. He can wait until I am ready to accept him, and let him in...into my heart.

It's a night to be spend having fun, dance with the beat, drink and laugh. I have moved on, and I can say. I did well on handling my pain, I did well kaya heto na ako. Feeling reborn after a year. And if fate would let me, I hope James and I will end up together and forever.