Loving My Ex Lover

Chapter 2: Six months' a waste

The usual duration of my short lived romances? Two days, if she's too good in bed we could go for a week but that doesn't mean na hindi ako pwedeng makipagdate. Parang may steady for a week, while I have my daily doses.

Dating Margo was the most boring thing I've ever did, and I thought six months' a sure wasted time. Those times that I have to drive her to the south every weekend so she could spend time with her Grandma. Those weekends where she would spend most of her time baby sitting, of course with me. Ang daming bata, pamangkin. She loves kids, she loves her family and her grandma so much.

Well, those makes her happy so I thought of just you know. Maybe it could be a binding force, I know she isn't the type of woman who would go to bed with a man. So I thought of kinda, trying to work hard to achieve my goal. Make love with her, I know she is a virgin and that made it even more exciting.

The thing is, it's a wasted six months. I've tried to lay low, halos makalimutan ko na nga ang itsura ng bar at lasa ng alak pati ng mga chics for six months eh. Our dates usually involves with either mine or her family. So paano ako makak score with such a set up? Wala, it was boring.

" Babe, you know I was thinking. Maybe, we could take this to the next level?"

Minsang mapagsolo kami sa condo niya.

" Like?"

" Like, you know..you, me..being intimate?"

" Aren't we intimate enough?"

She is pretty, beautiful and seductive. Even if she only wears a plain shirt, jeans it makes her look so elegant and fascinating. Kaya lalo akong natakam, I wanted to see more of her.

" You know we could-

Natigil ako when she kiss me, I thought she understood what I meant. Kaya naman, mabilis pa kay flash. My hands automatically wandered, we were there...I was expecting it already. Until she stopped my hand and pulled her lips off mine, gave me a quick kiss and smiled at me.

" We'll get there, but not now."

Upset and irritated? Ang sakit sa katawan, ang sakit sa ego. A guy like me? Minsan nakaharap ako sa salamin I would talk to my self asking.

" Am I not hot enough for her?"

Women go crazy kapag ako na eh, but with Margo. She knows when to stop me, she knows what to do in every time that I attempted to take our relationship to a steamy ride. Kaya minsan, when she asked me to come to her place. I would make excuses, until our sixth monthsary came.

Got ideas from my friends, how to prepare these and those and that. How to please a woman who loves the dramatic cheesey types of love stories they watch. Took her to dinner, took her home. With rose petals all over, candles and a bunch of white roses.

She kiss me, hug me and told me those lines.

" I love you, happy six months Babe."

Rather than saying the same thing, I would want to undress her already and put her to bed and just make love with her. But of course, she must hear those words from me.

" I love you too, happy six months."

Then another kiss, and she pull away and looked at me.

" You know what could make this night perfect?"

I got excited, akala ko pareho na kami ng iniisip eh. I even tried to tease and tempt her by giving her gentle kisses on her ear, her neck. Gently she pushed me, gave me a smile. Pull me into the couch facing the balcony, push me to sit. Opened the curtains, tapos naupo siya sa tabi ko. She wrapped her self with my arms as she laid her head on my shoulder.

Bumuntonghininga ako.

" What's wrong?"

Nag-angat siya ng ulo, tinignan ako at hinaplos ang pisngi ko. I was too upset, inalis ko ang kamay niya sa pisngi ko at tumayo.

" Why are you angry?"

" Tell me? Hindi pa ba sapat? Ito? My efforts?"

" What do you mean? All of these are fantastic, and I loved it..I swear."

" Then why?"

" Why what?"

" Margo, tapatin mo nga ako. Do you love me?"

Lumapit siya sakin, yumakap.

" I do, I really do."

" So, can't we just stop all these non sense and just-

" Sex? Is that what you are trying to pull off? To have sex with me?"

I don't know, but parang napahiya din ako. She pull away, dumistansya siya sakin. With her arms across her chest, her face is not irritated but mor of being confused.

" Look-

" So, for six months. Ito lang talaga ang gusto mo Lindon? Sex? Then what? Then you'll treat me as if I am just one of those women you slept with?"

" Margo-

" You don't really love me do you? And all of these to you are just non sense?"

Her tears began to fall, I don't know what to do. She won't allow me to hold her, and all I wanted to do is just leave.

" I do- I mean, I love you."

" But you love sex more than you love me, right? Do you know how difficult it is to have you? To pretend not to know that you still slept with other women even though we are dating? Do you even think how embarrassing it is for me? That my friends would tell me to stop dating you already because you are such a hopeless guy and that you'd only break my heart? Alam mo ba iyong pakiramdam na masabihang ang tanga ko na to waste my time to someone like you when there are still men out there who could treat me like real man's woman?"

" Margo, what I mean is-

" Im setting you free Lindon kung hindk ka na masaya sa akin, I don't know what you want in life. For me, I know what I want. I want a man, who can treat me like a real woman who deserves to be loved and cared. A man who could give me security, It's not that I don't want to make love with you..I am dying to do it. For so many times, pero alam mo ba bakit hindi ko magawa? Kasi takot ako, that the moment you get what you want from me..mag-isa na lang ako pagdilat ng mata ko. I don't feel secured enough Lindon...I love you so much. Pero bakit hindi mo magawang alisin ang takot ko na baka iwanan mo lang ako?"

Her eyes, iyong kanina sumasayaw sa bawat ngiting sumisilay sa labi niya. Now became a fountain of tears, pero bakit tila wala akong magawa?

" How much longer do you want to play? How long do I have to wait for you to settle with me, just me Lindon. Cause the thought of you sleeping with other women is killing me everyday, and unfortunately I have to endure the pain since I don't think you are thinking about me either. Mahal ka kita, alam mo iyan. But now, I just have to let you go. Go back to your life, and I'll start fixing mine."

My entire being is disappointed, six months and I ended up watching Margo cry. Six months became but a wasted time, I left her as she was crying her heart out. Dumiretso ako sa bar, where my friends are partying. Got drunk, and the next day? I woke up with a new woman beside me, under the soft sheets.