Loving My Ex Lover

Chapter 13: Going indecent

I've let my heart out cried st James, and I was lucky enough thet he respected my decision. I can't have him if I am not even sure of who it is really that my heart is beating for, kaya to make it fair. I have to cut it all out, and just give my self some time.

Dad said, when I am ready and needs his help. Magsabi lang ako, but I say. I think, I'll be doing it by my self. I phoned our friends, including Gabby to meet me in a bar.

I feelike having a few drinks, but of course. It won't be fun without friends, nang makompleto kami. I let my self get lost, in the middle of those loud beats, under the influence of alcohol.

" I thinm we should call it a night?"

Bulong ni Gabby.

" What? Come on, let's have some more!"

Wala silang nagawa kundi sumunod sa akin, went to the counter and ordered for more. Waste, I want to feel how it feels to get really wasted. Kung saan-saan direksyon ako dinadala ng paa ko, sunod ng sunod naman si Gabby.

" This is fun!"

Sigaw ko, pilit nagsisiksik sa mga lalaking nagsasayaw. Wala na akong pakialam kung may girlfriend o wala, but of course. Alam mo ang lalaki will alwayas be that way, ramdam ko na may nanghihipo and may halos isiksik na ang mukha sa dibdib ko. Before anyone could touch me, hila na ako ni Gabby.

" I think we have enough already."

" No! Ngayo lang, Gab. Ngayon lang. Just let me be, stay put ka lang."

" Are you kidding me? Margo, you were dancing in the middle of those men who are seemed to eat you alive already."

" Who? Them? Hmmm....I think, it'll be fun!"

I took another shot, and walk back to the crowd and began doing some I don't know. I just feel like dancing, but I am seeing my self for the first time doing such.

" Not bad!"

Sigaw ko, pinuri ang sarili.

" Hey."

Bulong ng isang lalaki, ngumiti ako.

" Hi."

" Mind if I buy you a drink?"

" No, not at all."

Nawala ito matapos magpaalam, when he came back. He's got two glasses of drinks. It took mine, finished it.

" Wow, you're hot."

" Hmm...that's why I am thirsty."

" Want some more?"

" If you care."

Ngumiti ang lalaki, naka tatlong balik siya. Until he drag me out from the crowd and walk me to the corner, bougth another round of drinks. Parang ramdam ko na ang limit ko sa alak, and I can feel the guy's hand wandering in my body.

" So, how would you like this night to end?"

Bulong nito na dinampian ng halik ang leeg ko.

" Hmm...let's-

Natigil ako ng may humila sa akin palayo sa lalaki, at nakita ko na lang itong natumba sa sulok. It was dim, but at least enough for me to recognize his face. Lindon, with an angry face. Binuhat ako palabas ng bar, at saka ako ibinaba nang makalabas na kami. Tanaw ko si Gabby na nagtatago sa likod niya. Natawa ako, tawa. Na hindi ko din alam kung bakit.

" I'm sorry, I need to stoo you already."

Dinig kong wika ni Gabby.

" Can you drive on your own Gab?"

" Yes."

" You can go now, thank you for calling."

" Please, take care of her."

" Are-are you leaving me, Gabby!"

Mabilis itong yumakap at humalik sa akin, saka tumakbo. To where? I don't know, one thing is for sure. To her car.

" What were you doing?"

Asik ni Lindon.

" What? Inside? Oh...well. I am partying. Drinks, come on. Let's have some more."

He scoop me again and put me in the front seat of his car, I heard he slammed the door purposely and angrily get inside and turned the engine on.

" Is it bad to party? I mean, you too goes to party. Those people are partying, and so am I. Then-

" Do you want to be raped or be sexually harrassed?"

I can hear my own voice as I let a sarcastic out from my throat, tumingin ako sa kanya. His face is serious, but well I am drunk. I reach for his face he glared at me.

" Why do you care If I- get end up being raped?"

Another laugh.

" I was just partying, talking with thst guy who bought me drinks. We were just talking."

" So, you love to talk with guys whos mouth is in your neck? Licking your skin?"

" Why? Is there something wrong with that? Kapag ba babae, hindi pwede? Pero kayong mga lalaki kayo, okay lang? Okay lang na aluking ng sex kami? Or a one night? Or just making out? Kasi lalaki kayo?"

Another sarcastic laugh from me, pero tumahan ako. Seryuso ang mukha niya, at sa kalsada lang ang tanaw. Tumahimik na ako, baka mapasama pa.

" Why did you have to do all these?"

Napalingon ako, sabay ngiti. Oh how I've missed his voice, and finally. Narinig ko naman.

" I told you, I just want to party."

" Partying is different from going indecent."

" Oh- was I? oh my, then should I apologize? Wait..kanino ba ako magsosorry? Don sa lalaking 'yon?"

Bumuntong hininga siya, napahilig na lang ang ulo ko sa sandalang ng upuan. If I continue doing this, baka masuka na ako. Kaya it's better to be quiet, lalo pa at nararamdaman kong sumisipa na ang alak sa tiyan ko.

Naduduwal na din ako, as I remember what he just told me a while ago. That the guy was licking my neck, and naisip ko din ang kamay non na nammasyal na sa buong katawan ko. God! What have I done then? Di I went thst far? Napapikit ako, I hope he won't talk about it anymore. I feel so disgusted with my own doing, nakakahiya pala. Lalo na siya pa mismo ang nakakita, and if I get it right. He sounded jealous, iyon na nga lang ang iisipin ko. Bahala na kung saan niya ako dadalhin, basta alam ko. Siya naman ang kasama ko, I feel safe. Closed my eyes, pilit ninanamnam ang sandaling katabi ko siya sa gabing ito.