A Million Miles Away

Chapter 4: November

It was November and the days slowly got shorter and the air got cooler. The time spent conditioning also grew shorter, but the time spent in the air grew longer. Articles and columns about the game versus Belize quickly spread through London and much of the wizarding world for that matter along with photos and gossip columns discussing the kiss.

After practice on the fourth of November, I pulled Adam to the side and told him why I ran off so quickly after he had kissed me. To be completely honest, I was drawn to him. He was sweet, funny, and looked so much like Scorpius. His hair thought a darker shade, was blonde and his eyes were a brilliant blue color. No, Scorpius was a stormy grayish-blue, not as bright and vibrant as Adam's, but you couldn't deny the resemblance.

"I am so sorry, Lily" he wouldn't make eye contact and instead looked down at my shoes, "I didn't realize you were serious with someone, I never saw a ring."

I nodded, "Well, we talked about marriage... he just never proposed," I said.

Adam glanced at the floor, "Why didn't he come to the game?" he asked

My breath hitched in the back of my throat, "uh... it's a long story," I said.

He looked at me with a confused expression, "Were you fighting?" he seemed to be trying his best to understand.

I scratched the back of my head, "No...." I sighed, "The day of my tryout... he disappeared... left without warning," I said.

"Is he in danger?"

I shook my head, "All I know is that his Head of Department knows where he is, that's it... I have no idea where he is... If he's safe... If he'll come back."

Adam gave me a small sympathetic smile, "I know I'm never going to be able to truthfully say I know what you're feeling, but I know what it feels like to lose someone you love," he said.

I smiled slightly, "Sorry... for dumping that all on you."

He shook his head and shrugged, "don't worry about it... I'm here if you ever want to talk," he said.

If you asked me why I did what I'm about to do, I wouldn't be able to tell you. Maybe because I'm tired of going home to an empty house? Maybe because I'm tired of feeling so lonely at night? Maybe I truly liked Adam's company? Or maybe because every time I looked at Adam, his face changed in my mind and became the facade of Scorpius, the one I love more than anything. My mind was foggy and though he was nowhere near as perfect as Scorpius; when I looked at him, he was. He became perfect and kind, completely flawless... He became Scorpius.

As Adam began walking away to grab his things from the locker room I grabbed his wrist, "Wait," the word slipped out of my mouth.

He turned around, "Yeah?"

"Come over?" I asked a bit hesitant. No, that was not what I should have said.

Adam looked confused, "to your flat?"

I nodded, "If you want," I said feeling like an idiot.

"er- sure," he said, "let me just grab my things."

As he left to grab his stuff I stood there and my forehead with my palm... he's going to think I'm a slut now. He's going to think that I like him, and I don't... I am still far too in love With Scorpius to consider that. I'm practically leading him on.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot, id-" I punctuated each word with a slap to my forehead.

Adam came back, "You okay there, Lily?"

I nodded, "Fine... let's go," I grabbed his hand and pulled him behind me to the apparition spot.

When we got my flat I set my bag down on the counter of the kitchen as walked over towards the fridge, "you can sit anywhere," I said as I grabbed two butter beers.