Slight Change (fem Deku fanfic)

Letters and memories (todoroki)

[Trigger warning]

Todoroki's pov

I laid in bed I wasn't leaving Izuku......how cruel am I mean I barely even said anything to help her out I just stayed quiet....I wanted to say something but I couldn't I just couldn't the words wouldn't come out. It was like the words were locked up in my throat, I twisted and turned on the futon Izuku kindly let me sleep on. That's when I tried to close my eyes again but it wasn't working everything......I was so restless that's when my eyes turned towards the small little letter Izuku had given me.

I really want to know......

I shouldn't......

It was her wish......

But it's bothering me......

I hate it this urge to see what's in it is agitating me, i reached for it but quickly turned away......
My conscious wasn't going to let me without mentally scolding me......what a weird thing to say getting scolded by your own conscious.

I sat up in bed staring up at the ceiling.....I closed my eyes once more...but I wasn't asleep just my thoughts grabbing me into a deep dark pit.

I started to ask myself what the hell would I have done if.....if I lost the Izuku I like.....no the Izuku I love huh? Would I just let her slip away between my stupid mistakes...? Who does she even prefer me or that idiot.....huh who would protect her better....who knows her better.....would she even want me like that. What if I ask and she says no..?. I know it'll hurt.....because I'd love Izuku no matter what......

She is my world.....she's the person who I want. But it doesn't matter what I want but what she wants.....I mean I don't think I'll confess anytime soon I mean...

Look at everything she's going through....

Wouldn't it be cruel......

The more I began thinking....

The deeper I sunk into an unconscious state.....

The more I thought about Izuku....

The more I questioned myself and what I once believed.

That's when something completely snapped me out of it....I heard the door open there she was the girl who held my heart.....she was leaving. Maybe bathroom.....yeah that was it....I heard the water running...that's when I got a really horrid feeling.....I looked at the letter even though I knew what I was doing wasn't great I did it anyway...it was killing me I opened the letter and began reading it.

Dear Shou,
Hey it's me Izuku I'd love if you kept this letter forever.....hmmmm actually I guess I should get to the point huh? I really have wanted to say this for a while......its been eating me up inside. I really do like you.....actually I'm not even sure if that feeling is like.....maybe love. But heh why'd you even accept such a stupid confession, you have no idea how much I think about you....and how hard it is for me to understand you'll never feel the same way. I'm sorry I was a brag I bet I was kind of like a 1,000 pound chain on your ankle.....I really did hold you down. Well I just want to say I couldn't handle the pain of rejection luckily I won't have to receive it.....I'm probably gone by now. I know it's kind of stupid to do this for one bad incident but it's really not just my mom even though she's a big reason....it's my past my present and future I don't like it I realized that me trying to be a hero was a really stupid idea....or dream I should've given up on it when I was told to.. Well I love you! My final goodbye....don't miss me I'm not worth it.....

~Izuku

I knew exactly what was happening I stood up and ran out towards the bathroom.....there she was laying in the tub.....unconscious.....but most importantly in a pool of blood.....