Frank Merriman, P.I.

C H A P T E R 13

Secretly, Frank is going after Hatfield as soon as Nick Barrington, a private investigator with the Los Angeles Police Department, follows Frank on his next case.

"Detective Barrington, let's get Paul Hatfield!" Frank tells the LAPD PI.

Know when to find the gangster stealing secrets from other mobsters getting away with unsubsidized crime," say Barrington.

"Now, Nick Barrington, P.I., let's cut to the chase," Frank explains.

"Paul Hatfield was the self-proclaimed king of the mafia kingpins in California because of his indecisive breadth and girth.

"Hatfield goes after the con men and escape artists capable of snatching possessions from all locations simply because he is attacking the California Federal Mafia in real time. As soon as Mr. Hatfield comes to detonate SoCal, I'm aligning with Scott Merriman in chasing Mr. Hatfield.

"Let me and Scott bamboozle into Mr. Hatfield's case."

"Tell Sam Barnacle you want Agent Paul Hatfield to be infiltrated by force," says Barrington.

"Sen. Tom Barrington, your shy brother, will fire bullets at one of the California Federal Mafia criminals using his .500 caliber automatic rifle," warns Frank.

"I, Detective Nicholas Simon Barrington, P.I., will, at least for now, get Merriman Investigations' crack team of PIs caught in the crosshairs, again!" he says.

"Justify my freedom of choice," Frank tells Detective Barrington, "before I crack the evidence."

Later this day, Frank and Scott Merriman drive back to their home, while Mrs. Merriman is cooking up dinner for this evening.

Later that night, Frank goes to sleep at 9 P.M., proving he could find Paul Hatfield go down for the count.

When Frank wakes up the following day thereafter, he is lathering up his body, gets himself dressed and heads to Merriman Investigations headquarters. "How trigger happy is this?"

Answers Sam Barnacle, who has been a Merriman Investigations fixture for 13 years: "Well, Detective Merriman, you've come to the right place to solve mysteries. I'm Sam Barnacle, and one of my priorities at Merriman Investigations is to knock off crime with usual plot devices.

"Crime time is just any time you want to eradicate and enforce the law."

"Is this what you believe in, Sam?" asks Frank.

Answers Barnacle: "Let's unravel the mystery!"

Scott knows the magic of law enforcement, especially when justice fails overtime.

"Incredible!" Frank wonders.

"Fragging the lines between crime and justice will prevail."

"Yes," replies Barnacle. "It still is swell!"

"Fire back!" shouts Frank.

Barnacle says, "Quiet!"

"Who is Paul Hatfield?"

Frank answers, "He is about to interrogate himself."

"Tyrone needs to gun done Mr. Hatfield before he gets away," Barnacle ponders.

"The oracle of getting franked is rising toward American law enforcement," Frank says.

Scott tells Sam Barnacle, "My father tackles the toughest cases even known to mankind."

"Hatfield and Tyrone are on the brink of enforcing, and Scott and I are committed to fighting and detecting crime in every new ways possible," Frank shills. 

Barnacle wonders, "That might not be heard of.

"As I say: 'Not as moment too soon.'"

What are you trying to get rid of me?" Frank asks.

"Dad!" shouts Scott.

Frank hits Barnacle in the neck, upper and lower chest, eyes, nose, and stomach.

"You've taken away my conspiracies! Stop me now!" Barnacle warns.

Frank asks, "Do you want your cash?"

"No way, Frank!" answers Barnacle.

As soon as Nick Barrington, P.I. arrives at Merriman Investigations, Frank and Scott are going after Sam Barnacle.

"F**k you, Frank," Barnacle swears off. "Go after Detective Barrington now, or I'll blow the headquarters of Merriman Investigations up into smithereens!

Officer Joe Woodrow of the LAPD Rookie Squad is talking to Sen. Barrington via 2-way radio.

"This is Officer Woodrow. Sam Barnacle is in deep trouble now."

Because of Paul Hatfield's association with the California Federal Mafia, Detective Merriman must attempt to frame Sam Barnacle at this moment when Officer Woodrow solves Barnacle's insane case.

"Where is Mr. Barnacle now?" asks Sen. Barrington.

Office Woodrow answers, "Go find him. Frank is a trigger-happy PI who dares to combat mafia-oriented crime."

"Barnacle!" yells Trigger Happy Frank.

"Relax, Detective Merriman," Sam Barnacle says.

"I dare you to hunt me down when Officer Joseph Henry Woodrow, a.k.a. 'Trigger Joe,' comes in as he tracks me down and shoots me to the pulp! Ha! You, Frank, will have a big deal of franking  the criminals by playing pranks on the California Federal Mafia kingpins bashing crime! Y'know how to fight against the mob since you opened Merriman Investigations' doors."

"Shut up, Barnacle," Frank warns.

"Better know Officer Woodrow right now."

"Uh, oh! Trigger Joe Woodrow is here!"

Officer Woodrow drives o'er to the Merriman Investigations parking lot and goes to the main floor of the Merriman Investigations offices in suburban Los Angeles. Walking up to the second floor, Officer Woodrow knocks on Frank's office door and impresses, "Gee! Oh my..."

"You in?" asks Frank.

Officer Woodward answers, "This could be your last chance!"