Franklin Ernest "Trigger Happy" Merriman is the most powerful man in the world of law enforcement in this hilarious, zany and highly offbeat new novel by Mark T. "The Comedy Answer Man" Watson, author of the critically acclaimed Shadow Busters novel...
While solving the new case in the war against mafia attribution, Frank turns to Los Angeles Police Department Chief of Detectives Myron Q. "Mike" Danforth.
"I am following you as I go after the California Federal Mafia," says Danforth.
"Would you mind?" asks Frank.
"I kid you to go after the CFM when mob kingpins Simon, Bob, Ray and Geoff get to the mafia."
"Infiltrate the tyranny of the California Federal Mafia at your risk or risk the agenda," Danforth then queries.
"That's none of your mafia-related biz, Mike!" Frank quotes.
"I, 'Trigger Happy' Franklin E. Merriman, P.I., am ready for duty.
"The entire California Federal Mafia cartel is blown up by Merriman Investigations as soon as possible if not probable."
"Frank, what now?" asks Danforth.
"Time for crime," answers Frank.
"You're having the power of enforcement to overcome hypothetical justice conspiracy." And, of course, Mike, my aim at Merriman Investigations is helping criminals of all ages bring them all - if not no one else - to justice in a more perpetual way.
"Solving crime is big business. Tough."
Danforth then debates, "You and your private-investigator son Scott are in very, very big trouble with the mob - in connection with those distracting urban-mafia leaders and gangsters having a lot of trouble infiltrating the mobsters and hoodlums lurking crime in an era of law-enforcement attribution these days should the California Federal Mafia urban gangsters battle the best of the bad guys committing mafia justice in America."
"Am I right or wrong about my various mafia-based cases?" Frank interrogates.
"Yes, murdering, kidnappings, larceny, pickpocketing, bamboozlement - you name it," Danforth says.
"I detect it," says Frank.
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"What happens next?" asks Danforth.
Frank quells, "Shoot first. Interrogate later."
Danforth replies, "That could be the wrong fugitive going after the mob!"
"But to whom?" asks Frank.
Danforth later discusses what happens when a mafia kingpin and his and/or her foes chases many gangsters after each other.
He tells Trigger Happy Frank, "Investigate or die!"
Trigger Happy Frank then points the Interrogator revolver hand gun at Danforth and banters, "Chief of Detectives Danforth, forgive and take more responsibility to crack the case.
"You're a dirty rotten law-enforcement wonk unraveling the mystery.
"You, yes, you are a cock-sucking law enforcer who's been stealing secrets from the California Federal Mafia and going after the mafia executives initiating more assignments in the war o'er crime.
"For no controversial reason whatsoever is up to you, Danforth, 'cause I'm the man who could take a page from a Joseph Wambaugh-type novel and blow up the mafia like crazy!"
"O.K.," shouts Chief of Detectives Danforth, " place your gun in the holster and crack the case now! Hear?"
"What happens next?" interrogates Frank.
"F**k you!" swears Danforth.
When Frank runs away from LAPD's main precinct, Wade the Blade, Merriman Investigations' procrastinating investigator in the midst of a mafia infiltration assignment, tells him, "You will fire the mob away."
Meanwhile, Danforth is telephoning his wife, Marlene, proving what goes wrong is about to be in the obscene age of breaking civil law.
"Marlene, is Paul missing?" interrogates Danforth.
"Now," Marlene answers, "Detective Merriman is on duty, so you better go after the California mob!"
"Yes," Danforth answers.
"Trigger Happy Frank will capture the California Federal Mafia suspects right away."
Marlene replies, "Get Frank and Scott Merriman before they go after the California Federal Mafia!"
"Get ready, set and all fired up to the Merriman Investigations challenge of investigating mob hunks vying for interrogation!" Danforth shouts.
"I know you are trigger happy now that Trigger Happy Frank and his private-eye son Scott are in the hunt for someone controversial," Marlene continues.
"Truth is, Mr. Danforth, Trigger Happy Frank is searching for the wrong guy who's committing the tyranny of mafia injustice and attributive wrongdoing around the world. He will be indicted - allegedly - within the next few days following his arrest.
"Trust me," Marlene debates.
"I dare yo!" Danforth warns.
Marlene hangs up the telephone; and Danforth returns to Merriman Investigations.
Sgt. Hightower is driving his L.A.P.D. rookie police car to a nearby Carl's Jr. restaurant and orders one of the Thickburgers alongside a single order of French fried potato sticks. While one of the Carl's Jr. guest enjoys the Thickburger, Sgt. Hightower points a gun at Stuart Battle and says, "Mr. Battle, this ain't a stick-R-up!" Hee hee!
Battle, a British entrepreneur who founded the family-owned food company Battle Brands, is being gunned down - while Sgt. Hightower pulls a trigger and begins shooting Stu Battle in the chest.
Spenser Walsh arrives at Carl's, Jr. at 3:45 P.M., with the KABC Television cameraman recording a breaking-news story concerning Stu Battle's shooting at the restaurant.
