Random thoughts and quotes

I don't

Well, tonight is going wrong.
I've decided to go to back early hoping to find a place where I can calm down a little, even tough my thoughts will probably be stronger than before.

I knew it was wrong to rely on a stranger, so here I am saying "yes, that's the payback", but who cares. I knew I thought that maybe a couple of words from him would change the reality, but shit doesn't change if you lay a flower on it, even worst if you lay down nothing.

I hate feeling such a pressure when only twelve hours ago everything felt right.
Damn.
And tomorrow... I've got a lesson, a party and a bus to take to come home where I hope I'd find someone who could be either my friend or enemy. Faith will decide it, I hope for the good one.

But how can I tell him that I wanna be a friend? How can I stop myself from caring so much just to show that I really care. How do people do?

I can't understand people most of times. Because they never understand the meaning of my actions, because I'm not common. I don't behave like 99% of the population would do, I don't follow that thinking scheme that everybody seems to owe so naturally.
In two words: I don't.

And I don't want to start this session as I don't want to say goodbye, I don't wanna feel the pressure and I don't want to lose my time.
I'd like to have my moment with everyone I care about and tell them why, even if it seems stupid or random. For me, it matters. And they matter to me.

That intimate, sky-glancing comversation I always dreamt about with every single one of them will probably be a dream, forever.