Random thoughts and quotes

Deal with me

Someone can please tell me what's going on with my feet please?
Whatever, better talk about important stuff, the kind that really matters.

So, this evening I've been silly and dumb and in less than thirty minutes I've got a payback well deserved. I'm between that sad mood and the "I don't know how to handle myself" (or should I say my head) and the only thing that satisfies me - at least a little bit - is... being left alone. In silence, please. And also in the dark, thank you. So my brain can travel and brainstorm how much he wants and needs to and I can have the biggest roller coaster of emotions ever. Seriously, this time isn't so big, I'm just teasing everybody because I may be falling for a boy and a part of me is like 'yay, let's do it!' While the other is most likely to close every kind of human relationship, scared and dramatic and whatever negative you can think of. Like I'm freaking mad or something.
Being scared just sucks. Anyway, gotta deal with it. Not that I want to, just feeling like I have to... emh emh.
I know it's kind of stupid, but I'm so used to be rejected that in front of this boy who really wants me, fifty percent of the time I'm like "no, it can't be real, come on, it's not the truth" while I should turn off my brain and let it sleep for, like, a day. Or maybe a couple of weeks.

By the way, better be sleeping now. And, most importantly, the boy dealt with me even now. I hope he'll become my boy...friend
♡