Remember

Chapter 43

"I can't believe it's over" Julius says blankly, staring down at his lunch

"I know" agrees Louis sadly.

Yesterday was our last football game of the year, and their last high school football game ever.

"Now comes college applications and scholarships" says Alan, poking at his lunch with a fork in one hand, and his other around my waist.

I stare down at my hands. I'm never gonna go to camp with these guys again. I'm never gonna coach them, or train with them. My eyes begin to sting, and I quickly wipe away the tears.

"I had fun with you guys." I tell them, not looking up.

Alan squeezes me closer. "Promise the football team won't be the same without us"

"I promise" I say quietly. I bury my face in Alan's neck, hiding my water eyes. He pets the back of my head lovingly.

~

"Massachusetts?" I cry out. Alan is sitting on the edge of my bed nervously. "What, the law schools around here aren't good enough for you?"

"It's not like that. It's Harvard." He tries to grab my hand but I yank it away and turn around. He stands up and grabs my hand. "You're going to Georgetown."

"That's close to here." I argue.

"What if it wasn't?" He asks. "What if your dream school was far away?"

"Then it wouldn't be my dream school." I counter with clenched teeth. He was trying to tell me he was going to Massachusetts for school.

"I'd come back every chance I get." He says softly, trying to brush a strand of hair away from my face.

I push his hand away. "You couldn't give me any warning? You couldn't tell me you were thinking of going? You just come to me and say you're leaving in a week and expect me to be cool." I shake my head violently. "No."

He tries to pull me in. "I'm sorry, I wasn't sure, and then I didn't know how to tell you. I love you so much, I didn't want to break your heart."

I let him hold me close for a minute, causing a sob to escape my lips. My chest hurts at the thought of Alan leaving. "Too late." I push him away again, tears streaming down my face. "If you had given me a warning, I could've prepared myself, I could've supported your decision. This is so out of nowhere."

"Well I've told you now." He says, slightly angry. "Prepare yourself now. Support me now."

His anger makes me angry. "Are you mad at me? Because last I checked I'm not the one who springs news out of nowhere. News that could break our relationship." I'm yelling a little now.

"Is it news that could break our relationship?" He asks back angrily.

This is it.

This is where I have to make a decision. I can forgive him and say "no" or I can say what I truly believe.

I sniff and wipe my eyes. "Yeah, it is."

His expression drops. "If I had told you sooner, would things be different?" He asks, looking up at me with his sad, puppy dog eyes.

Tears roll down my face as I step towards him and run my fingers through his hair. "Yeah"

He looks down at his hands. "I'm sorry, Caroline." He gets up and stands in front of me, having to looks down to meet me eyes. He grabs my hand, making me cry more. "Could you forgive me for at least a week? I don't want to spend the last days we have together upset."

I take some deep breaths and try to calm myself down. Alan, who I thought would be with me forever, was leaving. And while I knew he would come back on vacation, he would still be gone for months at a time. A relationship as young as ours can't survive that. I look up at his eyes.  A week. That's all I had left with the guy who I thought was the love of my life.

I nod. "I can."

He pulls me close, squeezing me tightly. I feel a tear roll off his face and hit the top of my head. I look up and kiss him. Slowly, passionately. I pull away to catch my breath for a second, my face wet from both of our tears.

"I thought we'd be together forever." Alan mumbles, our foreheads pressed together.

"So did I." I reply.

Our eyes lock, and he kisses me again, this time harder than before. I fall backwards onto my bed, Alan on top of me. My hands explore his hair, his chest, his arms. His hands also make their way from my hair to my chest. His kisses work their way down too, and soon my shirt is off and so is his.