Here and Gone

27

( you guys aren't ready for this chapter...)

CHAPTER CONTAINS EXTREME CONTENT READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND REMEMBER ITS JUST A STORY!

[ ADDISON'S POV ]

I closed my car door and quickly walked to Grayson's front door. I hesitated on ringing the doorbell but clicked it.

A pit of nervousness it my stomach as I stood waiting for him to answer.

The door clicked as it unlocked and my stomach dropped.

The door opened to Grayson in his grey joggers and a white hoodie. My breath hitched at how beautiful he looked when he didn't even try.

"Hi." I softly smiled.

"Hey." He opened the door for me to walk in. I walked through the door, getting a whiff of his cologne as I walked past him.

He shut the door and turned to face me. "I'm just going to get straight to it Addison." He held onto both of my hands making them tingle.

I nodded as he proceeded, "I love you... so much. I always will. No matter where we go in life, it's always gonna be you. I can't see myself with anyone else. I want it to be you when we are old and cuddled up on the couch as 70 year olds. I want you forever." His eyes became glossy.

A smile appears on my face and I didn't even realize it.

"Clearly, I don't know how you feel. So, before you say anything... I want you to have this." He let go of my hands and walked over to the dresser that was next to the stair case.

His journal....

"I want you to read all of it so you can understand everything that's happened from my point of view. It's not a lot, but it's enough for you to make a decision." He handed me the white journal that I had once gave him.

I nodded as I held the journal tight in my hands.

"Promise me you will read all of it." He looked me directly in the eye.
"I promise."

"Come back when you have made your choice." He opened the front door and I slowly walked out.

_____

I slammed my bedroom door shut and jumped onto my bed.

My finger traced gently across the cover of the book as I took a deep breath. My fingers fiddled with the fold then finally opening it.

December 16th

Tonight guilt has filled me to the top of the cup. Addison gave me this journal to write all of my feelings down in because she thinks I'm depressed.

Don't get me wrong, I am. Being without her is the most aching pain I've ever had. But, the reason I write isn't because I'm depressed... it's because I remember.

I remember everything about her. I've remembered for about two weeks now.
When I woke up and memories filled with her and I, it was the most refreshing feeling I've ever had. I was about to hop into my car and drive to her but I couldn't.

Her and Ethan just seemed so happy that I couldn't.
Not only would I be destroying her happiness, but Ethans happiness.
I love both of them more than myself and I couldn't kill that.