A King's Guardian

>13<

The room was cold and dark, nearly as much as the night brewing beyond the lone window. I lifted my eyes from the blanket swaddled around me to where Zacharias stood across the room, leaning against the wall with crossed arms. His gaze was already on me as it had been since we'd entered the room. When I blinked, the crusted tears fell onto my cheeks, salting the soft, freckled skin. I didn't know how I could tell him what happened, but I didn't have a choice. I had to tell him, regardless of what fate my honesty purchased.

"Who caused the attack, Apphia?" he pressed again, for the third time.

This time my cracked lips parted for a breath. Yes, I would tell him. Shedding the blanket, I gripped my arms and rose from the chair. His obsidian eyes followed my every move, like I was the traitor. Perhaps I was. I had kept this from him, after all.

Once I reached the window, I peered out at the sliver of a milky moon and began. "Prince Philip told me I couldn't tell you. He said if I did, he would release rumors about...about you and me. That we had been spending time alone. I know he wants to ruin you, I just don't know why."

"What did he want you to keep from me?" he demanded, though his voice was quiet and low. He sounded angry, the dangerous kind.

"Because...he also told me there was going to be an ambush on the way back today," I said with a sigh. "He refused to tell me when or how or by who. He just said it would happen."

There was quiet for a moment before I suddenly felt a warm breath on my neck. Tensing, I kept my gaze on the window. If I focused, I could barely make out our reflection in the glass. He was standing right behind me, his face drawn into a furious scowl. A fresh tear rolled down my cheek and dropped down to the floor.

"That's all I know." Rubbing the tear off, I forced my shoulders to straighten. "I understand this deserves punishment. I shouldn't have kept this from you."

"I just don't understand how you could prioritize a rumor over the safety of our entire entourage."

"I..." My breathing faltered. I felt more stupid than I ever had. "It is my job foremost to protect you and your reputation. And I didn't see how we could have prepared any better for an ambush. He didn't tell me how or when—"

"If you had told me," he growled into my ear, his body pressing against my back, "I would have dealt with him. We would not have left. Things would be much different now."

Biting back a sob, I dipped my head. "I'm sorry, Your Highness. Punish me as you see fit."

Another moment of quiet before his hands were on my shoulders. I briefly wondered if he would elect to simply kill me rather than punish me. For putting his life and all the others' at risk, I deserved it. He didn't move to snap my neck, though.

"It's Zacharias to you," he mumbled.

I didn't know how to respond to that. He still wanted to be informal after what I had done? Perhaps he wanted to be more aware of what I was losing because of what I had done; the opportunity I had to be close with my king was be taken by my poor decision.

Even so, a part of me was not repentant. If I had told Zacharias, the whole kingdom would have criticized him for being overcome by something of lust and stupidity. I wanted them to respect him that way I did.

Not to mention my reputation in such a situation. I would be beyond salvation, nothing more than the king's play thing. No one would stop to wonder if the rumors were true or not, or if I was something more than that. All of my potential would be utterly wasted, and I would be sent out into the kingdom to find some other purpose for my life. If there happened to be such a thing out there.

"Did you really only keep this from me," he asked, bringing me back to the moment, "because you thought it would hurt me?"

I nodded.

"Apphia..." Sighing, his grip on my shoulders tightened. "You can't afford to be so subjective. More was at stake here than my reputation."

"Yes, Your H—Zacharias."

"I care ab—"

"Your Highness!" crowed a female voice my bedroom door was thrown open.

One of his many aides stood just outside in the hall, her black suit contrasting against the red wall behind her. Her eyes flickered between us as I stepped out of his hands, keeping my head down.

"You must learn how to knock, Cassandra," he replied. "What is it? We were in the middle of a very important discussion."

"Forgive me, Your Highness," she said, not sounding the least bit regretful. "The last of our men are being brought to the hospital, and the head physician would like to speak with you."

"Alright. Is he here?"

"Yes. In your office."

"Very well," he said. Then he turned to me and I slowly lifted my head, if only out of respect. "We will continue this conversation later. I will do something about Philip...but stay here until I come to get you. Understand, Apphia?"

Again, I simply nodded. Now I was on room arrest. It could have been worse, I supposed. He whirled away and fled my room in a blink. I shed my Guardian uniform and slowly stumbled into the bathroom. The long walk and fight had left exhausted. A hot shower would perhaps bring some energy back into my body. It wasn't like I had much to do until Zacharias returned.

After standing under a steady stream of scalding water, I ambled back into the bedroom and changed into a fresh black cotton shirt and pants. I sat on the bed afterwards and felt my body sag under the fatigue. Surely it wouldn't hurt to sleep...though some of my kin under the King, fellow Guardians and soldiers, were suffering and fighting for their lives. Here I was, only wishing for sleep.

Even despite my convictions, I ended up lying down on top of the sheets. My eyelids grew heavy. Before drifting off, I reasoned myself into a lighter conscience, noting that there was nothing I could do for my fellow men anyway. I would serve them better rested than exhausted.