High School // Malec

Chapter 14.

- Alec, are you okay?
Jace's voice rang through my head like a melody to one of these sad songs that people listens to when they have been through something heartbreaking. I was still laying in my bed with my eyes closed, trying to hide myself from the world.
- Alec, please talk to me
His voice was filled with so much pain, but it was like I couldn't answer. My whole body hurt every damn breathe I took felt heavy. I had spent the whole night, overthinking the smallest of things. My brain felt numb and even though I had cried for hours, it felt like I was about to start sobbing any minute. Everything that has happened this last couple of days suddenly because too much and only the thought of meeting Magnus today made my whole body shake. It's not that I don't want to talk to him and make things right between the two of us, but I was terrified. The voices in my head kept me up all night, saying that Magnus just want to talk to me so he finally can make me understand how much he hates me. I know that it's probably not true, but having a depressed mind is like watching some sappy reality show. It's impossible to know the difference between true and false.
- Alec, I can't help you if you refuse to talk to me. I promise, you can tell me everything and I won't judge you
I felt how Jace carefully sat down on the bed beside my body that still wasn't moving an inch. His hand started to massage my back, just like he used to do when I felt like nothing matter anymore when the two of us were younger. The movement usually calmed me down, but not this time. I was too anxious about everything which lead to the fact that my body completely shut down and it was like I wasn't alive anymore. I wasn't surprise though because honestly, this wasn't the first time something like this has happened. Growing up with mental disorders like depression and anxiety means that you one day can be completely fine, but the next day can feel like your whole world is crashing down beneath your feet.
- Do you want me to do and get Izzy? I mean, if your not comfortable enough to talk to me about it
- No, I stuttered
Talking felt almost impossible, but I was more than proud over myself that I actually was able to answer. It's not that I don't want to talk to Izzy, but I don't want her to worry about me more than she already do.
- Look, I know that something obviously is wrong, but I want you to know that I'm here for you
- Thank you so much, I answered
For the first time today, I opened my eyes. It took some time until my eyes had adjusted to the light, but when I finally could see clear, my eyes came across Jace's worried face.
- What's going on? He asked and this time, his voice was much calmer
- Have you ever felt like your mind isn't with you? Like when you try to think positive, the voices in your head turns it negative? I said
- No I haven't, but I can only imagine how it feels, Jace answered
- Yeah
We looked at each other for what felt like hours. Instead of using words, it was like our eyes were saying what we always have wanted to say.
- Alec, can you answer honestly if I ask you a question? Jace said
- Of course
- Is this because of Magnus? I know that you were supposed to talk to him today and make things right between the two of you, but if your not ready, I want you to know that it's more than okay, Jace answered
- I want to talk to him, Jace. I really want to make him understand that I want him back into my life, but all I can think about is that he's never going to forgive me, I whispered
- He wouldn't text you first and ask if you guys could talk if he doesn't want to make things right
- Maybe you're right, I sighed
- Duh, I'm always right. Look, I really have to go to school now if I don't want to be late, but I think you should stay home today. You're obviously not ready to go back to school and I don't want you to push yourself too hard, Jace said
- What about Magnus? I asked and looked at my adoptive brother
- Text him and say that you guys can talk another time, he'll understand
- Okay, I whispered
Jace carefully pressed a kiss against my head and thereafter, he left my room and I could hear how he walked down the stairs. Mum and dad had already left for work a couple of hour ago and I would take a wild guess and say that Max and Izzy also had left for school. Jace started one hour later than them, that's why he could stay home a little bit longer. In the beginning, no one had really wanted to leave me alone, but when they finally trusted me enough that I wouldn't kill myself, they decided that I had to text at least one of them every hour, letting them know that I'm okay and still alive. When I could hear how the front door finally closed, I sat up in my bed and took up my phone that was laying on my nightstand. My body still felt heavy and I could feel how my head started to feel dizzy as I sat up, but I really needed to text Magnus and let him know that I wouldn't be able to talk today.
"Can we talk another time? School is still not an option -Alec"
I sent the message and when I had put down my phone on the nightstand again, I decided that I at least would try to eat something. With shaking legs, I walked down the stair and continued into the kitchen. A cup of tea stood already ready on the stove and beside it was a little note, saying that I can't give up because in the end, everything will get better. At the end of the note was a little heart and the letter J, letting me know that it was Jace who wrote in and made me the cup of tea. His actions brought a small smile to my lips because honestly, sometimes he can be so damn amazing. When the tea was gone and I had eaten a half sandwich, I walked back into my room and laid myself down on my comfortable bed again. I took up my phone and saw how a text message was waiting.
"It's fine, we can talk another time when you feel better -Magnus"
Great, I bet he hates me even more now that I flipped him off. I threw my phone away and crawled down underneath my sheets. I closed my eyes and before I knew it, I was fast asleep, dreaming about a beautiful guy with raven black hair. A loud knock on the front door was what woke me up the next time. I groaned and forced myself out of my bed. When it felt like I wouldn't faint anymore, I walked down the stairs and continued until I reached the entrance hall. I took one look into the mirror that was on the wall to my right and then I opened the door.
- Hey
To say that I was surprised was an huge understatement. In front of me stood no one else than the most popular guy in school, Magnus Bane and guess what? He was looking more beautiful than ever.
- What are you doing here? I asked and tried to not freak out
- I know that you probably don't want to talk to me after everything I have done, but I need to let you know that I truly am sorry for everything, Magnus answered
- Really? What made you change your mind? I said and looked at him
- I don't want to to be a douche anymore, especially not towards you
- Has something happened? I asked when I could tell that Magnus was forcing himself not to cry
- It's fine, don't worry. Look, I just want you to know that I'm sorry and I hope that you one day can forgive me. I'll leave you alone now, Magnus answered and turned around
Before he got the chance to walk away, I took a tight grip around his arm and pulled him in for a hug. I know, I chocked myself too, but I don't regret it. Magnus body felt stiff at first, but seconds later I could feel how he relaxed and hugged me back.
- I never meant to make your life a living hell. I was still angry and devastated abut what happened when we were nine years old, but my intentions wasn't to hurt you, Magnus said with a painful voice
- Hey, it's okay. You hurt me and I admit that, but I would hate myself forever if I didn't forgive you. We were beat friends one time and I want that again, I answered
- Me too
We hugged for what felt like forever and when we finally let go, I could see how tears were streaming down Magnus beautiful cheeks.
- Magnus, what's wrong? I asked
- Nothing, he answered and quickly tried to dry the tears away
- Don't lie to me, Mags. Tell me, what's going on?
Magnus took a deep breath and I could see how his body was shaking. For some reason, what he's about to say really bothers him.
- Can we go inside first? He asked, scared if someone would hear us
- Of course
We walked together into my living room and sat down beside each other on the couch with a small distant between our bodies.
- Talk, I said with a calm voice
- Camille cheated on me, Magnus answered and more tears made their way down his cheeks
- What?

// TBC \\

Q: Who hates Camille?
A: Me👋🏻