High School // Malec

Chapter 38.

It's been a whole week since Max died and the door to his bedroom hasn't been opened once. Izzy and Jace has already returned back to school, claiming that it would make them think about something else, but I had other plans. The day after Max died, I dropped out of school and decided, together with my mother, that from now on I would be homeschooled. All of my teachers understood my situation and promised that if I ever needed help with something, I could always come to them. I haven't really been talking to anyone in my family these last couple of days, but Simon has been stopping by a few times. In times like this, it truly fels nice o have a friend like Simon. He's really good at making me feel better and to my surprise, he actually mad me laugh once. Yesterday when Simon stopped by, he told me all about his new girlfriend Maia Roberts. From what I have heard, she seems like a really nice girl and I hope that their relationship will last for a long time. Simon also told me that Magnus hasn't been in school for a couple of days either, but I don't blame him. He's probably devastated after everything that happened between the two of us, just like me. I have tried calling him almost every day, but when I not even could hear signals, I realised that he probably has turned his telephone off. I even considering going to his apartment and talk to him face to face, but I was too scared that Magnus wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes after what I yelled at him. The desperate idiot I am couldn't deal with the silence from him anymore, so I decided to do some stalking and that's when I found Catarina's number. I sent her a text message a few hours ago, but since she's probably in school at the moment, she hasn't answered. The truth is, I hate myself for everything that happened between me and Magnus. I had absolutely no rights to speak to him about his mother like that and I wouldn't be surprised if he never wants to talk to me again. I just wish I could have handled things a lot better. The exact moment I heard that Max had passed away, it was like all of my emotions disappeared and I didn't care about anything anymore. I know it's not a good reason for my disgusting behaviour, but I couldn't help it. I was mad at myself that I couldn't protect my baby brother and for some reason, I decided to take it out on Magnus. How could I even have been thinking that I didn't love him anymore? For years, Magnus has been the only person on my mind and when I finally got the chance to be together with him, I fucked up.
- Alec, can I come in?
My mother's voice brought me out of my depressing little world. I looked up from where I was sitting on my bed and faced the door to my room.
- No, I answered
Honestly, all I wanted was to be alone. I knew that my mother was hurting too, just like the rest of the family, but it was all too much.
- Please don't do this, Alec. I'm really worried about you. Talk to me
Her voice was filled with so much pain that it made my body shiver. Without looking at her, I could tell that she was crying, but no matter how much I wanted to open the door to my bedroom and hug her until her tears disappeared, I couldn't. I didn't feel strong enough to leave my bed and walk on my own legs that I still didn't trust. My body still felt very weak and I really didn't want to risk falling down on my ass again.
- Losing Max is hard for us all, Alec. Why can't we go through this together? We all really need you
Minutes later, when she didn't get any response from me, I could hear how she sighed and walked away. I won't lie, I felt bad that I didn't let her in, but I knew that if I would, there's no way I would be able to be strong in front of her. I would break the same second she would walk in. I let out a shaky breath that I didn't know I was holding in and decided that I would try to get some sleep, but just as my head landed on my pillow, I felt how my phone vibrated.
"Can we maybe talk in person? I could come to your house if you don't feel like going out -Cat"
I looked at the text and all kinds of thoughts went through my mind. Had it maybe to do with Magnus?
"Yes, of course"
I texted her back and also remembered to give her my address. I can't say that I was in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment, but if it had anything to do with Magnus, I had to know what was going on. I stood up from my bed and felt how my legs still was shaking, but I didn't have a choice anymore. I walked over to my dresser and put on some new clean clothes. When I felt satisfied, I walked into my bathroom where I brushed my teeth and dragged my fingers through my raven hair so it would look less chaos than it had done all day. When I finally heard how the doorbell went off, I walked down the stairs and continued into the entrance hall. I took one last deep breath and when I opened the door, Catarina smiled weakly at me.
- Hi, she said
- Hi, I answered and felt how the heavy weight in my chest came back
The two of us walked up to my room where we sat down beside each other on my bed. Catarina looked at me for a while and I could tell that she didn't really know what to say.
- Is Magnus okay? I asked
- No, not really
- Simon told me that he hasn't been in school for a while, I whispered
- I need to tell you something that you're probably not going to like, Catarina said and looked at me with a concerned facial expression
- What is it? I asked
- Magnus moved back to Indonesia
When those words left Catarina's mouth, it felt like I couldn't breathe. Had Magnus seriously left New York without saying goodbye?
- When did he move? I stuttered and tried to keep myself together
- Two days ago. He told me that he couldn't stay here because everything reminded him of you
- Do you know if he'll come back?
- No, Cat answered and sighed
- This is all my fault, I whispered and felt how tears started to make their way down my cold cheeks
- Alec, it's not your fault. Magnus didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay here and support you, but he was scared that you hated him, Catarina said and placed one of her arms around me in a comforting way
- I would never hate him, Cat. I love Magnus more than anything, I said
- I know
Cat pulled me even tighter towards her body and hugged me like her life depended on it. I cried into her shoulder for what felt like forever and when I finally couldn't cry anymore, I just breathed heavily.
- Did he move all by himself? I asked when it finally felt like I could talk
- No, he actually brought Raphael since Raphael's family hasn't been very kindly towards Raphael
- I have to go to Indonesia, I said and quickly stood up from my bed
- What are you talking about? Catarina asked and looked at me
- I have to go to Indonesia and prove to Magnus how much I love him
- Alec, you don't even know where in Indonesia he lives. It's a huge country, Cat answered and sighed
- I don't care, I'll find him

// TBC \\

Magnus moves to Indonesia? I bet you don't expect that😩

-Mathilda