The Psychotic Life of Charlie Keynes

CHAPTER FOUR

My Mom woke me up at about 10: 25 am, I don’t go to school anymore so, I guess I got to get used to waking up this late, might as well prepare when the time comes that I may never wake up again too. She made me breakfast in bed, sunny side up, two bacon strips and milk, my favorite. “I didn’t make that” said Mom, “Well who did?” I asked, Chloe came in my room; I was happy to see her, Mom then pointed at Chloe, “You made this? How did you even know that these are my favorite?” “I just guessed” she said with a smirk, she joined me in eating breakfast, everything is just perfect when she’s here, I know that she understands me, she knows how it feels to have cancer. Though, I wish that my disease was only cancer but I still have this trauma, last night I dreamt of my uncle, I woke up at 2:45 and went to the corner of my room, covered my ears and started yelling “I am bad” a lot of times, It was a good thing Phoebe came in and told me to relax, I was really about to pass out again, but I am thankful that I did not, I really don’t want to go back to hospital right now because of that. But still, I needed to go because I needed to have my weekly check up and I have to go to all my treatment appointments, and like Hazel Grace, I too now have to attend some kind of Support group. At least this support group takes place in a hospital and not in the literal heart of Jesus.

Mom took me to the hospital for my check up, Chloe followed. My doctor asked me to rate the pain I felt from one to ten, right now I did not feel such pain so I said one, the nurse was happy to hear that I am still strong, maybe it was because Chloe held my hand the entire time and I felt like there is nothing to fear at all. Chloe then asked me “Are you afraid?” “I am dying, I am sure that there is nothing left to be afraid of, from now on I do not fear anything, what is left to fear? Death? Unacceptable, you cannot fear death once you are dying, it is part of it. Henceforth, I fear nothing.” I answered with great confidence; she just smiled and said “Great”. I had with me my Percy Jackson: The Titan’s curse book, I am now 29 pages from finishing the book then off to The Battle for the Labyrinth; I am hoping that I could finish the whole series of Percy Jackson, and the Heroes of Olympus series, before I die. Maybe I can finish the books, and maybe this could help a lot for me, you know, if ever I meet one of the three eldest gods in heaven, I gonna be going all like “Hail to you great Zeus” and all other mythological stuff like that. It is already 3:00 pm, and my cancer group meeting starts at 3:30 until 4:20 pm, I can’t believe that I’m going to these group cancer stuff, it’s ridiculous, you would talk about your day, your life, your health and you talk about death. I did not to know that yet, but then again I am going to experience it one day, might as well get ready and learn from the best of the best. Chloe and Mom left and said they will be back in around 5:00, I walked into the room where the meeting is going to take place, there were chairs formed in circles, and there’s one chair in the middle of that circle. There were not yet a lot of people, there’s like 8 or 9 maybe, including myself. I sat down next to a guy, who is maybe around 19 years old, he had dark marked eye bags, he is pale and skinny, his lips were dry and by the look of it, it’s cold. He turned to me and said “Hi, I am Peter” “Hello, I am Charlie” I replied. He just nodded and went back to his original position, a tall round belly guy comes inside of the room and he sits in the chair in middle of the circled chairs, after looking at us he then said “Welcome, Cancer victims” we answered ‘Hi’. He then said “God has yet gave us a struggle that we can handle, a battle in which we can win, a war where we can survive, and a simple problem which we can solve, let us pray and let him know that we are fighting, and every single day we will fight” everyone bowed their heads and started praying, I looked up and prayed, ever since I was a little boy, I always put into mind that the devil is under and God is above, so I would never bow when it comes to praying, I never look down, it has been a habit that I would always look up, and I would imagine God listening to me, to all of us, but I was the only one who looked up instead of down when praying. Prayer has finished and it came to the point where we need to introduce ourselves and say how it is going. They started from the right, a guy then said “Hi, I am John Dion, 23 years old, stage four leukemia, it’s been hard today but I gotta get going” then a girl “Hi, I’m Fiona Ryder, 15 years old, stage four eye cancer, my surgery is tomorrow, so I am going to be blind now, and its been tough” then another young girl spoke, “Hi I’m Shanice Simpson, 14, stage 3 leukemia, life’s hell” then a little boy “Hello, I’m Ben Andrews, 7 years old, osteosarcoma stage 2, going well I suppose” a few came next then finally it was turn “Hi, I’m Charlie Keynes, 16 years old, thyroid stage 4, and I am grand” they all stared at me, no one spoke, then the man who lead us who I came to know is called “George” asked me “Why grand?” I said “Because I am grand” they all smiled and we continued on. Stories passed and time passed too, it was already 4:20, we said a prayer and went off with our lives. My Mom and Chloe were waiting for me at the lobby, I was glad to see them, “How did it go, Honey?” Mom asked, “It went great, we just told our stories” I said, Chloe did not talk, her expression is sad and I didn’t like to see her like that at all. I asked what was wrong, it took a minute for her to answer but she finally did “I just remembered these meetings; I used to have them too. And sometimes I miss those moments, and at the same time I hate those moments” I was surprised of her answer, I didn’t speak at this, I just hugged her. She was already crying, I didn’t know that this really hurt her. I did not know what to do, so my Mom said that we could go watch a movie or go and do something fun for a while, she and I agreed to this suggestion. We arrived at the premiere and Divergent was still showing, so we decided to watch it. An hour after the movie, we went to grab a snack, Chloe had with her, her self made novel, and she has been working on it for almost 5 months now, she really loves writing books and she really love reading those books. She hasn’t told me the title of the book yet though she did say she would tell me if I get better. I guess I’ll never find out the title of her book, because let’s face it, I am not getting better, day by day my lungs are gonna suck at their job, and everyday I am going to need more and more oxygen than I could ever ask for, I am not going to make it to my twenty’s I guess. Maybe she’ll tell me on my funeral day? I hope she tells me. That day is going to come soon, I know it.

 

It has been one month, and today is my 5th time in therapy, I don’t thinks it’s working though, I have been through a lot of treatments too, sometimes I feel better but most of the time I can’t breathe, because of these actions, my doctor suggested that I needed an oxygen tank already. Just like Hazel Grace Lancaster, so I need to carry around this tank with me wherever I go from now on. This won’t be a bother actually but I am pretty sure that people are going to stare and wonder like confused freaks. But the good thing about this cancer stuff is that I am totally focused with it that I forgot my trauma, I have not passed out or acted like a psycho in a month, that is a world record everybody. Anyway, I don’t go to school anymore but to be honest I actually miss school. Not the teachers, subjects, lessons, I miss my friends, I have not made a lot though but I still miss them. Chloe came to visit me today, she brought with her a pizza and diet coca cola, and she rented one of her favorite movies of all time “The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian” she is obviously obsessed with it, she has been a fan ever since she was in middle school, Narnia inspired her to write stories. As we were watching it, there was a loud pound on the door, she got up and opened it and saw her brother, Ender. He came inside and gave me a hug, and then he sat down with us to hang out more with me as he said. To be honest if Ender keeps on doing this to me, the more I feel like I’m going to die today, the more I remember that I have cancer, and the more I know that these will be the last moments I will ever have with them. “You don’t need to rub it in, Ender” I said, “What are you talking about, Bro?” he said, “Every time you see me, you don’t need to hug me and take pity on me, that pisses me off, that’s bullshit you know? It’s like Death is reminding me that my time is almost up” I said, there was complete silence, after a few minutes, Chloe finally spoke “That is crap” Ender laughed, “Bro, just like you said your time is almost up, might as well make this disease of yours as a joke, I mean, what if this is the last time I’m gonna hug you? At least I did it right?” he said, I grinned and then laughed.

It was already evening, so Ender went off first while Chloe stayed with me for a while, we did not really talk much, we mostly kissed, and at that moment I realized that I got a girlfriend. Too bad her boyfriend is gonna die. “Promise me one thing, okay?” I said to her, “What?” she replied, “When I die, be happy, always…” I said, she smiled and closed her eyes; she kissed me then hugged me and took off. Mom and Dad together with my other siblings hasn’t left yet, and they intend to stay here until I get better, or if I would say it, ‘Until I die’ but they don’t want to hear me saying that, so anyway, we always have family dinner now, and it is nice to see that they treat me like a normal none-cancer kiddo. After dinner, I went up to my room and turned on the television, I immediately saw Ender, I guess they filmed the football game a while ago, most people say soccer but I prefer football. Ender is like their MVP or Most Valuable Player, Ender is crazy obsessed about football and I totally support him in whatever crazy things he loves. That’s how best friends are, we are total opposites, I am a bookworm while he hates reading, I am not that confident while he has no care in the world, I like romantic, drama, and horror films while he loves action and sci-fi. There are a lot more differences we have, but we do still have the same similarities, we both love football, video games and we love the playground, you know why? Because the play ground is where we met, and the playground is where kids will be kids, it’s where they just play, and give no care in the world, they have no problems, and they just have fun. It would be nice to be a kid again, even just for a while.