Day-in-the-Life Of A Bi Person

Entry 2

I came out to my parents awhile ago. It's November now (2017).

I still don't want to tell anyone else in the family. Especially not my Gramma. I was talking to her a little while back, about the LGBT+ Community and what her thoughts where on it. She's a born-and-bred-Southern-Christian, and she believes they-no we, are all sinners. But her opinion is a little better than some others I've heard, I guess.

She doesn't like the idea of us, but she doesn't hate us, necessarily. She does, however, think that it's wrong for us to be the way that we are. She says that she doesn't care that we are, but she gets upset when people go to rallies and start fights. I think that's understandable, I don't like fights, either. She said she doesn't mind if someone has a girlfriend, or boyfriend, as long as they're respectful to her. She says she won't hunt down "gay-people" (how she refers to the LGBT+ Community) to hurt them, but if they want to start something, she'd sure enough finish it. But, she does think we are sinners.

That's the main thing that gets to me. I don't understand it. I've read their Bible before, out of curiosity, and heard people talk at services, and they always say the same thing, are always proud of the same thing: Their God is endlessly forgiving. So if we're all ''sinners'', you'd think we'd get a chance at redemption, right?

In my view-point, I don't think God hates us. I don't think God hates anyone, really. If the Bible is anything to go off of, He loves all of His creations. And I don't think He'd make us like this to watch us suffer in the pits of Hell. He must've done this for a reason, right?

I don't really believe in God, myself, well sort of...I'm agnostic. I believe there is most likely Something out there that is greater than ourselves that may have set this up, life I mean. Because if you think about it, life is too perfectly balanced to not have some divine root. Not saying evolution isn't real, because it 100% is, just that maybe a greater Something helped set it into motion.

I don't know, I'm really tired, and just...done. I just wish I was..different, so I wouldn't cause so much pain. For myself and others.