Day-in-the-Life Of A Bi Person

Entry 21

2018, April 20

~*Sorry I didn't put this up sooner!! I was trying to not have panic attacks and writing this wasn't rly helping. This is the events of last Friday from my perspective, because I need to get it out of my system. I still can't look over at the cafeteria without almost hyperventilating, so sorry if this gets repetitive and boring, I wrote most of it the day of, so I was still mildly freaking the frick out. That's all, read on =>Skye*~

-Today was hell. I don't know how else to describe it. It was just...hell.

-Okay, I've gathered my thoughts. I'm going to throw in seemingly unrelated things, and well they seemed like that at the time, but turns out they weren't so unimportant. Here's what happened, from my perspective at least;

On the bus this morning, I was just chilling, talking to my friends a little, and on the bus radio I heard something about Forest High School. I thought it was like one of the buses got stuck or something so I didn't think much about it. Now I realize that it was the shooting that happened.

I go to West Port, I'm in the MCCA program, so nothing was really near us, so we didn't really have much to worry about, but I guess rumors caught, and well, panic.

Anyway, me and Sabs got to the table we usually sit at, outside the cafeteria. It's like, maybe twenty yards away from the cafeteria doors. We were sitting there, just chilling, making jokes about how we wish that this week was over, etc. They usually blow an airhorn about five minutes before the first bell, but they blew it ten minutes before class starts. So of course, we were confused, like "waht, why it's like ten minutes till class starts". But then I look over at the cafeteria.

It all happened so quickly, it's hard to differentiate details. We looked over, and you could see through the windows on the doors, kids were getting up and running. At first I thought it was a fight or something, but then they were running out. Like off campus out. I looked at Sabrina and we ran. The only thought going through my head was "this is it, I'm dead. This can't be happening." We went up to the bus loop and to the fence around campus, where everyone else was going. As we were looking around, a friend ran up to us asking what was wrong. I told him what I knew, but even that at the time was not enough.

Teachers started to yell at us to get back inside and get to our first period class, and Sabrina called her dad. The teachers kept saying that nothing was happening, but I didn't believe them. Not sure if I do now. Over the speakers, the principle kept repeating "We are not under a Code Red, please get to your first period class..." I went up the steps to my first period hallway, and saw a friend who has the same class. We didn't make it down the hall, we got pulled into the first classroom that was open. Which just happened to be Criminal Justice. We went to the back of the class, in the storage closet, and that's when it hit me. I could have died. I know that it didn't happen at my school, but still. It could have.

We waited in there with a bunch of other students, some of them crying, some of them confused. The teacher told us what she knew, which was this; There was a shooting at Forest High School. At that time, we didn't know if anyone died, or if there were any injuries, so we were scared. She went on to tell us that her room was the safest place to be in, her students know where all the weapons are, etc. We listened over the intercom for what to do next, and eventually they lifted the code red to let us get to our actual first period.

When I got there, I was about to vomit. I asked my teacher if I could call my mom and have a clinic pass, and she let me. My mom didn't answer, so I got her to sign the slip and I went out to the front office. When I got to the doors out, an administrator stopped me and told me I can't go anywhere. I told him that I needed to get to the nurse, but the front office was shut down, so he took me to guidance instead.

When we got there he told them my story and had me sit in the back. There was a group of girls there, one of them in my P.E. class, but I just slumped in a chair and tried not to hurl my guts all over the table. A while passed, nothing really happening, and about three or four hours later, one of the girls was reading out the news to everyone. She said there was a reported weapon on West Port campus, and almost as soon as she said that, the principle came over the intercom again and said we were under a code red again (sorry, that was rly repetitive).

So, naturally, we started to bawl our eyes out. We got to a back room, and waited for it to pass. Some of the adults tried to keep a conversation going, but ti wasn't enough to drown out the helicopters landing on the roof.

Time passes and they say that the code red is lifted. We went back out to the main room, and I got out my drawing stuff cause I was bored and trying not to cry. Some admin came by and asked if we wanted lunch, and the other kids left. I can't usually get lunch bc we can't afford to pay for it everyday, but we can't apply for free lunch bc technically, there's enough income that we should be able to, so I just don't eat lunch (I found out later that it was free, so that rly pissed me off).

Eventually, they said we could go to our sixth period (which just seemed pointless, there was only like 30 min. of school left) and we started talking about it. It being the fact that we could have all been killed or injured. Sixth is my art class, but non of us felt like drawing, so we just goofed around nd tried to make each other feel better-ish.

Dismissal came, and I went out to the bus loop, got on the bus, and went home. From what my mom was telling me, on of her coworkers couldn't pick-up their kid from my school bc they were still on lock down-ish idk. I wasn't rly paying attention. But yeah, that happened.

Heh, scratch that off my bucket list.