Day-in-the-Life Of A Bi Person

Entry 9

2018, Feb. 5

-I had an psychiatric appointment this morning. It freaked the hell out of Zac and Emily b/c I couldn't message them to let them know where I was. I was actually kinda surprised that Zac was as worried as he was b/c he's not usually one to give a shit about anyone. ([Yes, the same Zac I left a note for in my bio, and if ur reading this: Hi Zac!!!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)]) I like to annoy him a lot b/c he's so tolerant for me. He's a sophomore and I'm a freshman, or as they call us "freshie". Our relationship is like a 13 year old cat taking care of a 3 month old kitten. And Emily was of course freaking out, as per usual. There's not a lot that doesn't freak her out, but that's okay. It's good to know she cares.

The major reason they freaked out is because I usually message them on Wattpad or something to let them know I won't be there (I'm grounded, but I have ways to get on here anyway huehuehuehue ٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑) So yeah, that happened.

Anyway, I'm officially on a new medication. The other one I had made me shake a lot and made me really drowsy, so this'll be better for me (hopefully). Also, it didn't really change anything. Like, I still felt exactly the same as I did before taking it. So this'll hopefully actually do something for me so I can actually get better instead of worse.

-Emily has about 60 days left with us. After that, she's moving to North Carolina (we live in Florida, btw). Well, she said at the least 45 days and at the most, 60 so? Idk, but I'm really gonna miss her. Like a a lot. She got everyone to write in a book for her, like on a yearbook where you leave all your @s, name, address, and notes for parting ways. I left a few doodles, and I might as well say it because I put it on my page as well...my confession. She's the one. The one that I fell for. And I fell so hard, but she's going to be gone. It's not like I have anything else left to loose. But I like like her so much, it physically hurts some times, and it's a like I haven't felt in a long time..no, actually, never. I thought my past partners where great, but she's so..I don't know. I just feel that if the world was coming down around me right now, I'd give up my life for her. If I had to choose for one person to go with me and that's it, it'd be her. I could spend eternity with her and I'd like like that so much. I don't want to say l o v e, because it might not be, and l o v e is a commitment that you have to make. Yes, we say that to each other all the time: "I love you, Skye." "Love you too, Em." "Bitch," "Jerk."

But this is a different l o v e, and it might just be a stupid crush, probably is just a stupid crush, but idk.

-My dad is..concerning me. I know he doesn't hate LGBT+ people, but I also know it makes him uncomfortable. So I'm..idk, just weirded out by him being weirded out. I knew the risks when I came out, and this is nothing to complain about, because it could be sooo much worse. But idk. He's just so put-off by me all the time. We used to be so close, used to be like, best buds. But idk. I just really don't know anymore, that's the only thing I can think to say: I don't know.