A Silent Lover

5. Imani

I drove JaeHyun and myself to my apartment which I had intentionally bought only a few blocks away from my new tutoring center. JaeHyun would start school soon and when I adopted him, I wanted to make sure I was close by home at all times. He was a smart child and he took things apart endlessly, making me worry he would get into something dangerous.

My previous building had been almost an hour from my old apartment so I was glad for the change. Not only was the apartment close to work, it also had a lot more space since I wasn't in the center of Seoul anymore. This meant that I could decorate a whole bedroom just for JaeHyun and I had done so as soon as I'd moved in.

As I parked the car in the underground garage, I opened the back door and brought out the sleeping boy. He wrapped his arms and legs around me tightly and I gave him an extra squeeze of affection. He wasn't very heavy, but the walk to the elevator made me somewhat breathless and I repositioned him in my arms as I waited to get up to our floor. When I got to the apartment, I took JaeHyun to his room and looked around the space.

I had painted the walls a light green since it was his favorite color and had ordered a Thomas the tank engine bed set. It was one of JaeHyun's favorite characters and he had been ecstatic when he'd seen it, making the cost to ship it overseas well worth it. I had placed a large blue rug on the floor that took up most of the room's floor space and finally added a small section as a toy and game area.

I carefully laid him down underneath the covers and sat down beside the bed on the floor. I couldn't stop thinking about KyungMi's words, they were on a constant replay in the back of my mind. I knew she was right, but I couldn't give up on trying to adopt Jae. He needed me just as much as I needed him. Even if I was still trying five or even ten years from now, I just couldn't stop. I kissed my precious boy on the forehead and left the room.

I woke up the next morning to a large object jumping up and down on my bed, shrieking about how bouncy it was and how high he was able to go in the air.

"JaeHyun-ah, you know better than that! Absolutely no bouncing on the bed. And what time is it anyway?" I was groggy and my body felt heavy and slow.

"It's ten o'clock and I'm hungry," he announced in English.

"And how do you know that? Have you learned to tell time yet?" Truthfully, though he had never been to school, I wouldn't be surprised if he had.

"I heard it on the TV. It said Pororo would come on at ten and since it's on now, it's ten o'clock," he said simply.

"Why are you so smart?" I said while laughing at his logical answer. I stroked his hair as I rose from bed and let out a light groan as my back protested the movement, my neck cracking out loud. I stood up and stretched for a few minutes, working out the kinks and thinking of the restless night I'd just had.

I hadn't slept much, just tossing and turning all night. I was worried about JaeHyun, the business, and my next home inspection from the adoption agency. Since I had moved recently, they had to examine the new place and determine if it was suitable place for JaeHyun to live in. My last apartment had barley passed because of its smaller size, but I was feeling confident now that my living space had improved.

JaeHyun followed me into the kitchen and sat down at the small breakfast bar while I took out the ingredients for homemade pancakes. JaeHyun usually ate traditional Korean breakfasts at the orphanage, but my stomach needed something more substantial than rice and soup in the mornings, so today we'd do it American style.

"Eomma, can I help too?"

"Sure, would you like to pour or mix?"

"Mix, definitely," he responded with a gleam in his eye.