A Silent Lover

11. TaekWoon

"Jae.... JaeHyun-ah!" I called out to the little boy who was still running headlong into the fields. The orphanage was set in front of a large expanse of empty land, which meant plenty of space for the kids to run around. It also meant that it took me a lot longer to catch up to JaeHyun than I wanted it to, even though I could run faster.

When I finally got close enough, I caught him up into my arms from behind and he struggled against me, kicking out his arms and legs when I tried to hold him still. He knocked me in the face a few times, but I held on until he'd tired himself out, his body suddenly going limp in my arms as his adrenaline faded.

I sighed in relief and then sat down in the grass with Jae still in my hold. His back was to me but I didn't make him turn around; I could hear snuffling sounds, almost like he was crying. And JaeHyun was old enough and smart enough to be embarrassed by his tears; I wouldn't make him look at me and embarrass him further.

"JaeHyunnie... What you said to your Eomma earlier wasn't nice," I reminded him quietly.

"I know it wasn't," he mumbled back, his small fists rubbing across his cheeks in furious movements.

"Then why did you say it?" I asked, still calm.

"Because... I didn't want to tell her that I got beat up when I was the one who started the fight."

"You started the fight?" I moved him then, turning him around in my lap. "Why would you do that?"

His face was a mess and I could see why Imani had freaked out. JaeHyun was still a child but it looked as if he'd been in a grown man's fight.

"They were talking about my mom; they were saying mean things, hyung!" He yelled defiantly with his hands curled by his sides.

"I told them to stop it but they wouldn't, so I hit the biggest boy. The others hit me back, and I got like this."

"Jae, words are just words. You can't let anger take you over like that-" I started to say, remembering words my own father had said to me once.

"You don't get it, hyung! People always say mean things about mom but I always let it go. But this time they were saying that it was because Eomma was black that I would never get adopted. The board won't let her have me and they think it's funny. They made fun of her and called her names. They kept saying how weird she was to try and adopt me... Hyung, it's not fair," he gasped out in a rush.

His voice was choked with his tears and they streamed down over his face, his nose running unchecked. My heart ached as I watched him, and I pulled him in close to me for a hug. I had understood the situation from Imani's perspective, understood her struggle, but I hadn't thought about how it would affect JaeHyun.

Imani loved him but he was stuck at the orphanage. The other children would be jealous of the attention he was receiving and would lash out. The older kids would also know why Jae hadn't been adopted officially yet and it made sense that they had said things. I knew my country and I knew how people saw Imani.
They wouldn't understand her heart, wouldn't understand why she wanted JaeHyun with her. But I could see the love that was between them and that love had caused both happiness and pain for the two of them.

I held JaeHyun until his tears had turned into slight hiccups. I felt the weight of him begin to relax from the tension that had kept his body locked in place as he cried. He was still so young; a newly turned six-year-old couldn't understand why the world was like it was, no matter how smart they were. And in fact, when it came to their situation, I could barely understand it either.

"JaeHyunnie, listen to hyung. I know what happened made you sad and that it hurt you. I know the words they said made you so angry that you wanted to fight. But it's wrong to hurt others, even if they hurt you first. And you hurt your mom because she saw you like this. Will you try to control your anger better from now on?"