A Silent Lover

14. TaekWoon

Friday morning came and it marked the fifth day that Imani and I had officially been married. As we drove further into Seoul together in my car, I couldn't stop the small trembling feelings of excitement bursting through me like champagne bubbles.
I was a married man now and thinking of the implications the title engendered almost made me dizzy with expectations of what was to come. Married life was something that I had always looked forward to and I was more than ready to get started. Our first act as a couple would be adopting JaeHyun and confidence poured out of me as Imani and I discussed how we would appeal to the committee in our meeting today.

The Social Welfare Society located in Gangnam was a large red brick office building, and the fifth floor was where the adoption committee resided. Like most official buildings, it was all stark walls and wooden floors, but the offices of the adoption agency were almost childlike in comparison. Bright colors and fun pictures decorated the walls, and there was a large section of the waiting area dedicated solely to toys.

Children played there as we waited, and other couples watched them with all the anxiety and love on their faces that Imani had when she looked at JaeHyun. I realized suddenly that these couples were like us, waiting hopefully for the children that they longed to have. It was only about ten minutes before we were called for our appointment and I walked into the large conference room filled with self-assurance, sure that right was on our side.

The committee rested in seats around a large table, with maybe eight people in attendance, the head sitting at the very end of the table. The men and women around the table smiled at us as Imani and I took our seats, but the head's intense gaze never wavered and he never cracked a smile. The questions began easily enough, simple questions that were the same as those in the massive amounts of paperwork that Imani had helped me to fill out.

We were doing well and all our answers matched one another's perfectly. It was almost friendly, the way each member of the committee asked us about our feelings for JaeHyun and how we would handle child care. But when the head of the board looks down his long nose at the both of us, his eyes seeking to assess whether or not we'd be good parents, I felt the first stirrings of uneasiness hit my stomach. He takes a second glance at the marriage license in front of him and lets out a sigh.

"I was under the impression Imani-ssi, that you had no intentions of marrying only a few months ago. In fact, I remember you heatedly declaring that you didn't need a husband." The man's words are piercing and loud in the conference room, making it feel smaller. 

I feel Imani stiffen beside me, her carefully placed smile faltering at the true words. I can see she's flustered so I speak up instead.

"That's right administrator and before Imani did insist on not getting married. But I convinced her in the end that I was the right man for her. It wasn't easy," I said with a small laugh and a smile. I squeezed Imani's hand and let everyone in the room see me do it. Imani seemed to melt as I spoke and the confidence was back in her eyes. I let out an internal sigh of relief at the sight.

"It may have been a quick marriage, but TaekWoon is a good person, someone whom I can trust. I think that JaeHyun would benefit from having a such a good and strong father figure in his life. I trust my husband."

The head admin took a long look at the both of us again and I feel beads of sweat break out across my forehead. I couldn't even imagine how Imani had gone through this so many times. The scrutiny was intense and now the questions came fast and furious about anything and everything. From our incomes to our hobbies, it seemed as though they wanted us to fail, the attention given to each answer as important as the one before it.

My hand was still holding Imani's when she began to shake slightly. Her body was vibrating with nerves, the impact of the unceasing questions beginning to get to her. I started talking more to ease the pressure off of her and finally after a stressful two hours, the interview was ended.