A Silent Lover

12. Imani

I sucked in a startled exhalation as TaekWoon finished his sentence, my heart pounding a mile a minute. It wasn't every day that I got proposed to by a beautiful man and my emotions almost had me saying yes, caught up in the heat of the moment.

Something about the earnest way he'd looked at me while speaking had made me loathe to refuse him. But as I took in the situation; which was me standing in the middle of TaekWoon's dorm with mascara running down my face, I internally slapped myself back to my senses.

"What did you say?" I asked him again, still not believing what I'd just heard come out of his mouth.

"Marry me Imani," he patiently repeated, still bent on that one knee.

"Are you kidding me? Get up off the floor!" I tugged on his hand but he wouldn't budge.

"No, I'm being very serious. I mean it." His hair was falling into his eyes and as he looked up at me I felt myself weaken again.

"I can't just marry you TaekWoon," I said more gently this time.

"I know you think I haven't thought this through or what it will mean for us, but I have. I know what's at stake for you and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that," he said quietly, his intensity causing my heart to skip a beat.

"TaekWoon, you don't know what you're getting into. My life isn't easy and having a child full time isn't always fun and games. Not only would the board expect you to take an active role in Jae's life, I would expect it too. Are you honestly ready for that kind of responsibility?"

"I care about JaeHyun Imani, and I'm not sure if it's love yet, but I care about you deeply as well. This is something I want to do for you." TaekWoon's voice was gentle but sure, his stare piercing. He was serious; I knew trying to convince him otherwise would be pointless.

"I just can't TaekWoon, it's not right."

"What's not right about it? You're doing this for JaeHyun, not because of some dumb reason. We're both going into this knowing what it is."

"That's exactly what I mean!" I said raising my voice slightly, because somehow my feelings were hurt by the explanation of his proposal. "I told you I was adopted, right? Well, my parents were high school sweethearts, and they got married right after graduation. Even when they found out they couldn't have children, they stayed together and loved each other. I grew up believing that all couples were as happy as my parents; it took seeing my friend's parents' divorce to realize that that wasn't the case.

"The reason I avoided dating wasn't just because I wasn't interested. I didn't want to be with someone whom I didn't love, and I never imagined marrying someone for anything less than that. I feel strange thinking that I would be in such a lasting relationship with you before we had even dated for a solid month."

"I get it, and I wasn't expecting this either but you should know something about me. When I care about someone, I make sure they're taken care of... I can see you're hurting Imani, you walked in here looking defeated. I know you're getting tired of the rejection. You just want to love JaeHyun and that fact is so admirable to me- "

"But what does admiration have to do with marriage?" I grumbled, still frustrated.

TaekWoon pressed his fingers to my lips and I immediately fell silent. His long fingers were cool and soft on my mouth and I felt a moan gathering in my chest that I stomped back down with force. He shook his head at me and his eyes squinted together in a smile that made me feel gooey inside.

"I wasn't finished," he told me quietly. I swallowed quickly past the lump in my throat and took a deep breath to get myself under control.

"Then finish," I whispered back as his fingers moved away.