I Try

Chapter 27 - All Right

Lauren's Point of View

"We did everything we could, but I'm afraid his injuries were too severe. His aorta was shredded and his heart could not be restarted. Oliver died in surgery. I am so sorry for your loss."

These words echoed over and over in my head for hours after the doctor who had operated on Nash spoke them aloud. It felt like I cried for eternity. I couldn't comprehend how only hours ago we had stood together, holding hands, telling everyone we knew that we wouldn't let other people's wishes rule our lives.

And just like that, someone else's desire had ended his.

Zack got up from the chair next to me and walked away. I glanced over at Beth, still staring straight ahead, and deciding she probably wouldn't be getting up anytime soon, followed Zack down the hallway.

I caught up to him in the lobby. He was standing with his hands in his pockets facing the exit doors.

I put my hand on his shoulder, letting him know I was there. He turned toward me, anguish in his eyes. I knew exactly what he was thinking and wished I could make it better. I wished I could rewrite the story, to change it so that we had a different outcome.

He heaved a breath that wracked his chest. "He saved my life." A tear fell from his eyes onto his cheek.

"I know."

"How do I live with that?"

I grabbed his hand that was clenched at his side. He relaxed it, letting me hold his palm and tracing it with my thumb. I didn't have an answer for him. I wished that I did. I just shook my head, looking up at him and feeling so guilty for thanking God that he was still here with me. "I don't know."

He looked away, still holding my hand. We stood together like that for a long time.

Beth was curled up asleep in her chair when we came back. Zack looked at me and I nodded and he bent down, picking her up gently and carrying her in his arms. My heart broke as I looked at her sleeping face.

"I'll call a taxi," I said, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

"Lauren," Zack called my name once I had hung up the phone.

I turned toward him expectantly. He wasn't looking at me though; he was looking down at my sister. The expression on his face was so tender.

"Do you think she will be okay?"

My heart had leapt into my throat. I stared at the man I loved with every piece of me, at the lines creasing his face that seemed to have appeared overnight. His whole body was tense with a new fear I had never known him to have before.

Tears clogged my voice. "I don't know."

He nodded his head, accepting that neither of us had any answers. I think Zack was wishing that someone could tell us what we were supposed to do now. I think because he knew I had been through loss, he thought maybe I could. But I had never experienced loss this way. I had never seen someone be struck by a bullet before. I had never held my hands over someone's heart as they died.

I wanted to comfort him. I just didn't know how, since no one could comfort me.

. . .

"Oh, hi."

I started when a voice from behind me interrupted my train of thought. I had been sitting at the kitchen counter watching the sunrise. I turned around, smiling when I saw Nash.