I Try

Chapter 5 - The Fault in Our Engagement

Lauren’s Point of View

All day, my thoughts could not stray from Zack. It was strange; I had managed to push him from my head since our intense kissing/screaming/make-out session in the conference room several days ago, but now my thoughts drifted to him and his hands and his skin on mine whenever my mind wasn’t consumed with the all-consuming ideas that he gave me. 

When Nash was busy cleaning the kitchen after I’d fixed him breakfast again, the first time being the day of the meeting, I snuck into my bedroom. Charlie was safely sleeping in the living room. I felt like a mischievous teenager, and I hadn’t felt like a teenager in a long time. 

My stomach stirred as I dialed Zack’s number. I tapped my foot anxiously on the floor, unable to quell whatever was making a flurry inside me. All I knew was that I needed to hear his voice - now. 

“Hello?”

I caught some air in my throat before rushing out my words. “Zack, it’s me.”

“Hi, babe.” he said sweetly. My heart fidgeted in my chest at the endearment. 

I managed not to squeal. “I know it’s only been a few days but I really need to see you. Think we can work out a way to push up our fake argument?” I pleaded under my breath. I hadn’t felt this desperate need for him, to see him, since we were back in New York. 

I was sitting at the table on Thanksgiving. We had returned from the pier and I was on an all time high. I had been watching Zack cook me a “traditional” meal in honor of the holiday. In my opinion, dolphins and photo booths would always be first over a roasted bird. 

I found that my eyes continued to drift to his back. Even clad in an apron he was causing my heart to go into overdrive and I was having trouble remembering how to breathe. In and out, or out then in? 

“Something up?” he asked. 

I shook my head, raising my eyebrows innocently. “Nope.”

He gave me a look that gave away how badly I was currently lying. He read me like a book and he abandoned the stove to come over to me. He sat down in the chair I had my feet in and I retracted them so he could sit. He did, resting his hand on my thigh and leaning forward in a concerned way. I felt my pulse quicken and looked away from his eyes. 

“Lauren, come on. Talk to me.”

I shook my head, biting my lip. 

“We’ve had such a good day. Please?” he begged. I sighed out loud and stared at my lap, trying to avoid looking at the hand he still had on my left thigh. 

“You remember how I told you about Graham?”

He nods, his pupils dilating visibly. He must be getting upset. 

“I shouldn’t talk about this.” I shake my head, trying to get up. I knew this was a terrible idea from the start. I should have never let these hormones get the best of me. 

Suddenly my wrist is grabbed so that I’m spun around and Zack’s lip crash into mine, igniting the fire in my chest. I melt instantaneously, sinking into his hands like putty. I hated how much I loved it. “Zack,” I pulled away breathless. “I’m trying to tell you, that I’m not..” I shift uncomfortably, looking away. “I wanted to talk to you about sex.” I let it drop and waited for the sentence to sink in. I felt I just had to be blunt with him. 

His eyes got wide but that was all. “Do you?” he said, surprise very clear in his voice. 

“Not about doing it,” I corrected myself. “I..I was telling you about Graham and I thought maybe you’d figure it out, though I know you’re not a mind reader.” Thank God, I though to myself. Then he’d know how badly I was lying about the not wanting it part. “I’ve never...” I trail off, hoping he’ll get the gist.