Yin and Yang [A Superhero AU] - Book Three

Chapter Forty-One - Memories of Home

A few days after entering hiding, Phil heads back to his apartment. He moves through the streets as silently as possible, fully aware of the potential danger that lurks around every corner. Mark is recovering well, but it will take a while before he's able to actually go out and find Jack again. That shot was near fatal, and without Phil there to constantly heal his wounds more and more everyday, his chance of survival will decrease. When he's finally well enough to use his powers again, he can go out and find Jack.  The Irishman will definitely be relieved to see him alive and well. 

Phil turns a corner and puts his back to the wall, looking around the street. San Francisco has been silent for days and it's the eeriest thing Phil has ever experienced. Even during the fighting prior to the final push, rebel groups were frequent and noisy. Now, there's nothing.

He rummages around in his pocket for a moment before his fingers finally close around his keys. He holds them, afraid to lose the only thing he has left... for now. Once he gets into his apartment, he can pick and choose which of his possessions are the most precious to him. He wishes he could just stay in his own home, but it's too dangerous.

Phil reaches his apartment and heads up the elevator, getting more and more jittery the closer he gets. Just a few more moments and he's home. The elevator doors slide open and he speed-walks towards his door, slipping the key inside with shaking hands.  With a click his apartment opens and he steps inside, letting the entrance fall shut behind him with a dull thud.

Home. He wishes it felt better to be back.

He doesn't waste much time standing still.  He grabs a backpack from his closet and moves towards the living room, memories flooding his mind. Him and Dan spent so much time here together, cuddled up under a blanket or invested in a heated make-out session. Sometimes, he would come home from a long day of work and Dan would be sitting there on the couch, reading a book or watching a movie. He would hear Phil come in and look over, smiling that beautiful, beautiful smile of his.  Phil would walk over and lie down with his head in his lap, recounting his day as Dan ran his fingers through his hair. Everything would feel better after that, all the terrible events of the day gone in a flash.

Phil grabs the blanket they so often cuddled under and tucks it into his bag.

He moves to the bedroom and stands in the doorway for a moment. Here, nightmares were had and soothed. Wounds and bruises were healed. Deep conversations were shared. Dan falling asleep was always one of Phil's favourite things because his face was void of troubles and worries. He always looked innocent and peaceful when he was asleep, and it made the hero's heart melt. The bed was not only used for sleeping, however. Phil's first sexual encounter since arriving in America happened in that bed, and it was one of the best nights of his life. Every night that followed was just as amazing, and Phil doesn't know if he'll ever be able to love someone that much ever again. Maybe he'll fall in love again in the future, but what he shared with Dan was a kind of love that can never be repeated.

Phil grabs Dan's pillow and one of his shirts, followed by some of Phil's own wardrobe and his toiletries. He grabs a picture of him and his family from the nightstand and a small Polaroid of him and Dan before leaving the room.

He walks from the bedroom to the kitchen and looks around, unshed tears burning in his eyes. Every morning that Dan was there, the two of them would make breakfast together. Phil would boil the water, and they would have either hot chocolate or tea or coffee. If Phil was cooking, Dan would often walk in all sleepy and wrap his arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck.  No matter what, he was always warm.  Those were small moments that the hero savoured, and more than anything he wants them back. Making breakfast in the morning or supper in the evening was so much better when he knew he had a lovely boyfriend to cook for.

Phil takes his box of teabags, a bag of coffee, and the two mugs that him and Dan always used (unless they were dirty). He wraps the mugs in the blanket to keep them safe because he's not sure he would ever forgive himself if they broke.

He exits the kitchen and looks around his apartment, letting out a heavy sigh. Nothing in his office is very important and he already got his belongings from his bathroom. It's time for him to go, and yet he finds himself stuck in place. This apartment has been his home since he was eighteen years old. It was his refuge when everything seemed to be going wrong. It was the place where he truly fell in love with Dan, a villain and controller of fire. It's scary, to be leaving and knowing that he could potentially never come back. At the same time, however, it's good to leave. So many memories are attached to this place, some of them too painful for words. Everything has an end, and this apartment will be one of those things that he keeps in his memory for the rest of his life. Just like Curatrix. Just like Dan.

Phil touches the wall and exhales, tears finally slipping down his cheeks. "See you later, ol' girl. Thanks for everything you've done for me."

With that, he shoulders his bag and heads out, closing the door behind him with a click.