Yin and Yang [A Superhero AU] - Book Three

Chapter Forty-Two - After All This Time

A Year and a Half Later

Phil sits on the concrete amidst the mayhem, tears pouring down his face. Military personnel rush around in the aftermath of the heroes winning back San Francisco, tending to civilians and heroes alike, and he can't even pay attention. They're free. After a year and a half of fighting and hiding away, they're finally free. The walls have crumbled, the villains have lost power, and they can all go home.

Phil wants to go home.

A military nurse comes up to him and kneels down, dark eyes flitting over the Brit's face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Phil mumbles back, scrubbing the tears from his cheeks.

"No injuries?"

"No."

The nurse nods and moves on. Phil gets to his feet, and as he does he sees Jack jogging over to him. He pauses, letting the Irishman catch up with him. Mark sits on the ground nearby, watching the exchange curiously.

"Hey Phil, I have something really important to tell you before you go," he says as he reaches his side.

The Brit raises an eyebrow. "What?"

Jack exhales and runs his fingers through his shock of green hair, crystalline blue eyes staring into Phil's very soul. "In the NAI building, there's a small graveyard where the villains are buried. Dan's grave is there, and I thought you might want to see it because you haven't yet."

Phil's heart stops in his chest, and for a moment he forgets how to breathe. He stares at Jack, disbelief in his eyes, and when he's met with sincerity he nearly crumples. When he remembers his voice, it's a mere squeak. "Really?"

"Yeah. From the entrance, take a left and move to the end of the hallway. There's a small door at the end that leads right to it."

Phil watches Jack for a moment longer before pulling him in for a hug. Jack freezes for a moment before hugging back, huffing out a small laugh.

"Thank you," Phil whispers before letting him go.

"You're welcome," Jack replies.

With that, Phil heads off. He runs towards the NAI building, heart pounding in his chest as he passes civilians, military personnel, vehicles, and more. His boots pound against the hot pavement, heart racing frantically in his chest. He reaches the door and throws it open, looking both ways down the hallway before turning left and rushing towards the door.

After a year and a half, he'll finally get to see Dan's gravesite.

He doesn't know if he's ready.

Phil slows down as he approaches the door to the cemetery. His breathing is a thin rush of air in and out, and no matter what he does he can't regulate it. Dan is on the other side of this door. To actually be able to see his burial site feels unreal.

Phil gathers his courage and pushes open the door, the scent of fresh grass and dirt filling his nose. Sunlight shines down from above, brightening the grass and gravestones alike. Somewhere above the small cemetery, a bird tweets and flutters its wings. Phil takes a step forward before kneeling down, untying his boots and leaving them by the door. For some reason, shoes feel inappropriate in this space. So, the hero proceeds in only his socks. The Earth is cool beneath his feet, but he doesn't take a moment to savour it. His heart is pounding so hard in his ears that he can't hear anything else, and he just needs to find Dan's grave and solidify that yes, this is real.

His eyes flit over the graveyard once before landing on the engraved name of "Daniel Howell". Phil walks towards it before falling to his knees, pressing his hand to the cold stone.

"Dan?" he whispers. "Dan, I'm here..."

He gets no response, but Phil hardly cares. Tears start pouring down his face in waves, his chest constricting and making it hard to breathe. He sobs until he feels faint, fingers tangled in the grass beneath him. The air in here is still and cool, no wind to make noise and drown out his cries. He weeps for a long time, forehead resting against his boyfriend's stone, and when he finally calms down a bit he sits up and wipes his eyes. Unsure of what to do now, he just starts talking.

"So, it's been a year and a h-half since you died, and I haven't stopped missing you. I w-wish you could have been with me through all of the stuff that happened. The villains ended up winning and taking San Francisco, and it took us this long to be able to take it back. I guess I've made a few friends, but I'm still so lonely. You were the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I feel completely lost without you." Phil takes a deep breath, looking to the stone for a moment before his eyes return to the grass. "I'm going to get a transfer back to a Curatrix branch in England. I know that this was our home and that all of our memories were made here, but I need to be somewhere where my family can be near me and support me. It'll be hard to be so far from you, but I'm going to get you a gravesite in England and bury something of yours there. You always told me that you wanted to go back to England, so I'm going to do my best to take you with me."

Phil takes a deep breath, his throat closing up as he fights off another round of tears. "I love you so, so much, Dan. Even if I get married some day or start a family, I'll always have you with me in my heart. I hope you can forgive me if I move on."

Silence falls in the graveyard, and as it does a warm breeze brushes Phil's cheek. It touches his lips with an unexpected pressure and graces the underside of his chin before disappearing, and Phil knows that wasn't a normal breeze. His face crumples as he touches Dan's stone again, knowing in his heart that Dan is listening and giving him his blessing to move on.

Phil presses his lips to the stone and reaches into his back pocket, where he's kept the page of Shakespeare since he retrieved it from the bookstore. He had almost forgotten about it, but now the memory resurfaces at a time like this.

"Good night, good night!

parting is such sweet sorrow,

That I shall say good night till it be morrow."

He leaves the folded piece of paper at the foot of Dan's grave, presses one last, gentle kiss to the stone, and leaves the room.

Phil never comes back. 

The End