Routes,Hope and Fam

1

ROSE

6 months earlier

The class stood before me staring like hawks and I looked away looking for a seat to settle in.Their stares were blazing hard through me.I loathed this class always for years,agh why did I end up here?Why always me?It looks like their eyeballs will gouge out any minute now.I am a 100% sure they think of me as a bitch who would shove their asses up their throat any minute.Well,I would totally do that if there was a reason and I can be a bitch too.
I turned to the teacher to inform her that I would be in this class. Well,you see I study in a private school no boys allowed basically so we get seated in one class and do not move our butts off our seat unless it's break or we are free.
There was only one seat empty in the room ,the first seat,great! I get to sit in front of the teachers face.I hope it's pretty for me to examine.I didn't even want to turn back or move at all but I had to.Luckily I had an ex friend's sister sitting right behind me so I called her out and asked for her timetable.I don't even want to start on the timetable.

The day went by hardly all I wanted to do was scream out loud.All day I scraped paper off my desk and damn the bickering about me has officially proved I am a bad ass burden.The girl from my bus, Yasmin she's short tan,skinny,self obsessed and double faced we have been friends for almost 11 years  and her girl squad they have great opinions about me
"Oh look Yasmin your best friend is here"
"Go sit with her with the best friend for life"
"Go company her she's lonely"
I could get up and slap them hard and tell them who will be lonely for the rest of their lives.
We always had combined classes for science so we were in the other section for the physics class.I was again seated in the front with two other girls next to me.I know one from cheer leading Areen,well I don't have a bad perspective about her and the one next to her I knew her through my best friend Alicia who shifted to the States before the term ended for ninth
I am repeating a grade because of what I chose.
I chose the wrong path and the wrong people and I thought I fit in their perfectly.
Miss Ani entered the classroom and her eyes first darted towards me and she mouthed 'repeating' with a little finger motion and  I nodded a yes and she gave me a sympathetic look before turning away.I hate it will people pity me or show me sympathy. I don't need it.
I never got any of the explanations in class.They all felt like alien languages but physics I never got her even a bit.
"What's your name?"Areen asked me with a straight face
"Rose"I gave her a slight smile
"Is she new or have you had lessons from her before?"she said pointing out at Miss Ani
"She joined last year so I have learned from her and she is horrible"
The girl next to her Samantha had her face resting on her hands and was smiling
I turned back to the board trying to concentrate on what language she was talking.I didn't get a word as usual.
"This is how you fail"I said turning to Areen who turned and looked at Samantha with a look of what the hell and she smiling back creepily.
Way to go Rose. Applause.

I just wanted to sleep and shake off everything, I wanted to cry,scream and just hurt myself but instead I controlled myself and slept after getting back home.
I woke up to my mom's voice.Dad's back from work and my little munchkins were setting the table.
At dinner we did not have too much of any conversation except for:
"How was your day?"
"You have to work hard"
"Now don't get on the wrong path"
"I trust u"
Dads word did effect me a lot.I always tried finding motivation in them but somehow my negative thinking got in the way.
After dinner I was finishing off homework when someone planned on ringing me.
   Paige.Always there to brighten my day.She was with me in class and we both had to start from scratch now.Paige the best of best, she's been always there for me and I am so delighted to have her. We have been friends since three years and each year  we get closer.I am blessed to her in my life.Paige is a shy insecure girl who thinks too much and is always on the wrong side of the fight.Idiot.She's medium height with short hair and she's very cultured.She's been always interested in arts and cooking.She is amazing in cooking I love,everything she bakes.

P:Hey!How are you?

Me:Thank You  for coming.

P:I know you are pissed but I will come from tomorrow I just felt too..I don't know

Me:Come on! You cant just hide in your blanket and cry forever.

P:I know but I don't know how will I gain the confidence.

Me:You have to and besides I am here.

P:I know I am so happy we are in the same class.By the way are we in the class we hated the one with Chelsea and Brit?

I mentally rolled my eyes.Chelsea and Brit I don't know how are they actually but from my perspective not good at all.

Me:Yep.And they know me better than I know myself

She let out a little laugh 

P:Don't worry I'll be there tomorrow 

Me:You better be 

We said our byes and ended the call. After completing my homework I headed off to bed.But I couldn't I was used to self harm and taking pills I can't get over them and I need to.I am not this person and I won't let this get to me that's it I will be who I was. I am not a monster.They turned me into one and I'll show them that I am not what they are.I will love my life and stand strong.
And with those thoughts I went into a deep slumber.

-Menahil