Julians Love

Reality's Nightmare

Sade

This is unreal, I think the whole ride home my phone won't stop ringing. I honestly can't even function. My graduation is the week after next and I need to pull it together, and stay focused. I know if I slip into a depression there is no getting out of it.

I reach over to check my phone and see I have a bunch of missed calls from Julian and Tata. I guess I can talk to Julian since I did leave him.

"Hey" I say dryly into the phone

"Hey baby I missed u where did you go?" he said in a scared tone.

" My friend passed away and it was on the news, I'm sorry but I had to go handle some things with that, I loved him so much " I say almost beginning to cry.

" I'm so sorry baby, u shouldve told me I could've tried to help you through this... listen there something I need to tell you Sade.. " he says.

" and wat is tha.. hold on a sec someones on the other line.. wait I hear him say as I  beeb over.

"Hello "I say anxious to know what Julian needs to say.

"Sade it's Tata where u been I've been blowing up yo line all night!! "

"I went to go see Kyle.. he passed away.."

"I heard.. it was all over the news, I'm sorry baby girl that shit is messed up. "

"I know, but it ain't the first time I've lost somebody close to me I'll get through it somehow".. I say thinking about my mom.

"Well not to dampen your mood even more but I have some more bad news to tell you.. Well you know how u gave me the spare hotel key incase of emergencys.. "

" yea.. I say puzzled.

"Well I came in this Morning looking for u and instead Julian and Jazzie were naked in the bed. The room smelled of sex and cheap liquor. I aksed around and apparently she had spent the night I'm there with him... I know you love him but he's a cheating dog. this is probably the time you need him the most with all your going through but me being yo bitch ima tell you straight up hes not the one for you."

"Your fucking kidding me, I'm about to be suicidal. this shit is crazy!! but surprisingly I'm not even mad I'm numb from the shock Kyle. Thank you for telling me but I'm not even gonna go off. after the last time I stopped putting my whole heart into him. So if this was to ever happen again ide be ok and I am.. Listen ima hit you up  when I get home I need to collect my thoughts and get shit straight. I said hanging up the phone.

Damn I'm left speechless. I'm losing two of the people the most I think to myself as I pull up to the hotel to get the rest of my stuff. Walking onto the elevator I see Jazzie getting off. You would've thought this bitch seen a ghost. Hey, I say to her in a fake ass tone.

"Hey" she says back giving me a weak smile. Damn these hoes is scandalous, gone smile in my face after she just fucked my man..

I get to the room and Julian is standing there with roses, what the fuck does this nigga think this is.

"Babe I'm sorry, it's not what you think… I love you so much. He says kissing my neck and grabbing my ass. I stand there emotionless not saying anything. everything was gone out of me ,I was just a vessel, a body with no soul. kinda like that scene from baby boy when Jodie had hit Evette and she laid on the bed thinking about her life.

He began kissing my lips and down to my mound, and began eating me out the best I've ever had. But I just layed there I didn't moan or anything. I felt dead inside and out.

He got on top of me and began fucking me whispering sorry in my ear. Trying to fuck the pain away. But there was no way around it. after a few minutes he finally came all over the sheets and tried to go back down on me, until I found the strength to push him off and get my clothes.

"Wait baby say something " he says as I began to pack and walk out.

"Don't call me, don't talk to me, don't come near me.. It's over I don't want you anymore nor do I love you, your a fucking asshole Julian a cheating lying asshole..." I say throwing the necklace he had bought me a year before at his face and walking out the room.

Later that day ***

As I finally make it into my bed, I lay in silence watching the ceiling fan rotate pondering about what I have just endured.

My first lover dead, from what seemed like suicide, for some reason I feel at fault I should have been there for him. But apart of me is completely numb like it doesn't bother me the other half is in denial..

He can't be gone a say to myself, I pick up my phone and call Kyle's phone and nothing but his voicemail. I call and call and call again listening to his voice cover my ears. I turn to the side of me to see Kyle and my Mom standing at the foot of my bed with there hands outreached for me to join...

"Sade wake up "Julian yells at me wrapped in towel.

" What? " I say confused.

"Were supposed to be finishing What we started in the shower, I guess u dozed off.. Its prom night and you know you not about to get any rest." He says smiling and climbing into bed.

Wait I was dreaming ... I think to myself. One second babe I need to make a call.

I step into the hallway to call Kyle, and after 6 rings he picks up.

"What babe it's almost 2 in the morning, " he says his deep voice wrapping around me in a embrace I refused to get of.

"I love you so much, Kyle I want you to know that I can't live with out you. " I say as tears began to stream from my eyes.

"I love you to Sade.. can I go back to sleep now..? " he says.

"Yea goodnight baby" I say hanging up.the phone.

I walk back into the suite, and Julian has already set the mood.

"You ready.. " he says pulling back the cover exposing his naked body.

"yea, make love to me like never before " I say kissing his cheek and settling in next to him.....