Lillies and Ghosts

Lying to you is Beautiful

Winter.

The feeling of your hands around my waist,

The smell of dust and cold wind,

My head on your shoulder, resting gently.

Your jacket hanging on the back of my door,

The story you wrote taped above my bed,

My heart is skipping, but my head is wagging it's finger.

Lies.

Lying to you is beautiful.

I only say I love you because I want to.

If I don't, I'll never be happy.

I know you'll leave and this'll never work,

Because I've pretended to love boys like you,

And I've broken boys like you.

Still.

Lying to you is beautiful,

Because loving you makes me flutter and skip.

I shall lie to myself,

Saying that this is not pretend,

The words I've made.

That when you rest your hand on my thigh,

That each sigh I make,

Is one of pleasure not uncertainty,

Not guilt.

Girls.

I still stare when each goddess passes by,

Their lips,

Their hips, 

Their eyes.

I say it's merely admiration. 

Yeah, I wish I was like them.

Undercover,

I wish they were under my covers,

Instead of you, sometimes.

But, I will not give into this.

You make me happy,

You hold doors for me,

And Lying to you Is Beautiful.

Worthless.

I'll never be perfect,

And I am quite worthless,

Having a certain giddiness in pretending,

This love is true.

But, just like a sunset,

And a navy veil,

Though temporary,

Lying to you is beautiful.