Silent rebels

38. Aftermath

"Amber?" I look up from my computer into Shawn's eyes.

"Please eat something" he puts a plate down on my desk,"this or anything els"

"I'm not hungry" I mumbled, trying to carry on with this program I don't even know what to do with.

"Amber, you haven't eaten, drank or slept in over 24 hours" Shawn kept pushing.

I was just about to answer him when my phone went off. I grabbed it to see if it was my dad but it was Jo, again.

"Amber please?"

I looked up at him and I could see he hasn't slept much either.

"No!" I yells and it ego back to my ears making my head pound harder.

"You need to eat Amber" he says back louder

"I need to talk to him!" I didn't even lower my voice

"You can't talk to your dad if you're dead Amber!" He matched my tone.

"He doesn't even care?"

"He does care! He was just hurt" Shawn matched my tone again.

"Like you would know" I said my voice coming out as a crochet from screaming and crying

"Amber..."

"Fuck Shawn" I chocked out, " you're not my..." I couldn't even say it.

I didn't care that everybody watched me. I grabbed my bag and phone and stormed out of the building.

I turn the corner and didn't exit the building. I slide down the wall, crying.

Yesterday playing over and over in my head like it happened a second ago.

Shawn walks by me to the door but turns around when he hears me.

He walks to me, sitting next to me, looking at me," I'm sorry" he whispered.

"I just hated the disappointment in his eyes, the sadness. The way he couldn't even look at me. I hate myself for doing this to the best person on earth. The person who was suppose to my my number one van..." I couldn't breath anymore. My heart hurt every time it beat. My vision blurred.

"Amber, calm down" Shawn said next to me.

I tried to explain but he grabbed my hands,"Amber please calm down"

When I couldn't breath he picked me up bridal style and run down the hall.

My breath couldn't reach my lungs and my heart skipped beats or that was how it felt. My vision was quickly became full of black spots, " Amber, stay with me" I heard Shawn but couldn't find his voice.

"Shit, Amber" he says urgently. That's when I lost all control and saw everything go black and felt everything go numb