Lust ➳k.th

XXX

━━━━━━━┈❖┈━━━━━━━

❝People cry not because
they are weak, but because they've been strong for too long. ❞

•••

S O F I A

AUTUMN HAVE KISSED the summer goodbye, and advanced towards a solitary, existence numbering my days spend in this room, and between these four walls. Time went by as it did, the restless countdown continued. People tend to forget their station with time, but I rather believe that it was hard for me to distinguish, myself as a solitudinarian, or a person with little passion.

I always thought that, life had a way of showing things, that you didn't want to be shown. Life gets hard as you grow old, you start comprehending things more, and more. You see things that, you never noticed when you were a child. You start to realize that, your parents aren't great, they're not very strong, or perfect. They are just like you, it's just that they've lived longer, suffered long; to know everything, to understand everything so very deeply.

So, they've learned to hide their pain more easily.

Life was beautiful. If only I was grateful, but not greedy as I was. I was so cruel to the people who cared about me. Before I came here, and started to live my life, I never imagined that there would come a time, I would never be able to see my parents again. To talk to them, to laugh with them, to eat with them, fight with them, it's funny how these little things were just our normal routine, and I never cared for it. But, now that nothing is the same, I am beginning to understand, and regret a lot of things I did in the past.

There's is nothing I long for more than to see them again. I just wish that I wasn't that me before, or what I am now.

I miss my parents, because I don't know what I am anymore. I have caused a difference between a happy couple. For them, I am an uncalled tragedy, that ripped their relationship apart. I know my time have come, I can't stay here as a burden and as an unwanted person anymore. I need to start living my life, without him in it, like I did before.

I am lorn soul. I cannot live life, simply with the leisure and, comfort he has provided me for so long. After what I have done, I don't think that I deserve to stay in their lives anymore. Just few more months, I've decided that I will leave them, because that was the right thing, the only thing that, will save me from  becoming something I do not want to.

Taehyung has tried too many times to get me out of this room but, I never paid any heed to his pleas, albeit being aware that I was hurting him. I've not forgotten about what happened days ago, and that is why I think it was good for me, to keep my distance until, their marriage, if it's still happening.

I don't know what Mia did, or if she told anyone. Eventually, soon she will, she can't let me go this way, I know that no matter how hurt she must be feeling right now, the betrayal she suffered from her fiance, wasn't that much. But the anger that she must be feeling towards me, was far greater. She would do anything.

Placing the book over the bed my legs sauntered towards the door, upon hearing the firm knock. My heart hammered against my chest, aching with a bittersweet delight when, I listened to the sound of his calm breathing, his soft presence outside the door soothed my heart, and ease the ache in my soul.