Say It If It's Worth Saving Me

4. Papa...

"Did Michael tell you?" Ryon asked me.

It's December and it's hot as hell and we're all dying. I honestly felt like I was melting most of the time and therefore I didn't even bother with makeup. School had just gotten out and we were heading towards the front.

"Tell me what?" I asked.

"The guys are playing another show at a bar this weekend!" She exclaimed.

"What?" I gaped at her.

"Yeah! I don't know how he did, but Ashton talked someone into letting them play," she explained.

"And he couldn't tell me himself?" I asked.

She shrugged, "He doesn't really see you during the school day."

"Jai!" Michael's voice called.

"Speak of the devil and he will come," I mumbled, turning. "Hey Mikey!"

He came to a stop in front of me and then saw Ryon, "Ry already told you, didn't she?"

"Yeah, should've gotten hear two minutes ago," I told him.

"Are you gonna be there?" He asked.

"Do I have a ticket?" I replied.

A smile split across his face as he pulled something out of his pocket. He handed it over and I eagerly took the paper from him to see that it was a ticket for the show.

"Man, the name looks so cool on a ticket," I told him, unable to stop my smile.

"I know right?" He asked.

"Also, your birthday present came in late and it's at my house," I told him.

"Oh cool," he smiled.

A car horn blared and we all turned to surprisingly see my dad. We all walked over to the car as the window rolled down.

"Jai, we gotta go," he told me. "We have more stuff to do."

By stuff, he probably meant going through more of papa's stuff and crying some more. I opened the back door and tossed my backpack in.

"Hey Michael, hi Ryon, how are you both doing?" He asked them with a friendly smile.

"I'm doing good," Ryon smiled back.

"How about you, Mike?"

"I'm doing really well," Michael answered. "The band has another show tomorrow."

My dad's face lit up, "Really? That's awesome!"

"If you wanna come you can," Michael offered, handing him a ticket.

"Aw, thanks so much Mike," my dad replied, taking it and most likely putting it in the empty cup holder.

"I'll text you guys later, yeah?" I said, bringing the conversation to an end. "Ryon, do you need a ride home?"

"Nah, my mum's getting me," she replied.

"Alright," I nodded. "See ya guys."

"Bye," Michael and Ryon replied in unison.

I went around the car and got into the passenger side as Michael and Ryon began walking towards one of the benches. Buckling in, my dad pulled away from the curb.

"Did Michael give you a ticket for their show?" He asked me.

"Of course he did," I answered. "It's in my bag."

"Good," he nodded. "Those are good boys."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Just that you have good friends," he answered.

The drive home wasn't long and I had been walking everyday since school started. I guess that dad probably wanted to resume some sort of normalcy from before the accident this past winter. The scar on my ribs gave a phantum throb as my wind went whirling back to June.

***

It had been our family trip to our vacation house down on the coast. Even though it was cold out and we weren't going to go swimming, papa really loved seeing the ocean and feeling the cool ocean spray.

The week there had been so much fun and the night we headed back was raining. The roads were slippery but dad was a careful driver and papa was singing along to the pop song that was playing on the radio.

"I got a pocket full of sunshine I got a love that I know that it's all mine, oh, woah-oh," papa sang off-key.

"Why do you have such terrible taste in music?" Dad asked.

"Natasha is amazing!" Papa defended himself.

"What do you think Jai?" Dad asked.

"I wanna listen to Green Day," I suggested.

Dad laughed and papa sighed, "Baby, you're supposed to side with me."

I giggled because that was the one thing dad and papa would never agree on. They loved a lot of the same things but music genres was definitely the biggest challenge ever for them.

"I hate you," papa said to dad, pointing at him accussingly. "You've brainwashed our daughter into some rebellious punk who's gonna want tattoos and piercings and going to rock concerts."

"That sounds cool actually," I said.

He turned and pointed at me, "Don't go there missy."

"Leave her alone Felix," dad sighed with a smile. "She can do whatever she wants."

"Actually, can I get a second row of ear piercings?" I asked.

"No!" Papa said at the same time dad said. "Yes."

"Jasper-" Papa began.

Dad hit the brakes, tires screeching as the vehicle jerked and I yelped in surprise.

Flashes of bright, white light.

Papa was yelling.

I was screaming.

Pain exploded in my ribs.

Everything was wet.

I lifted my head and realized that I was outside of the car and lying face down on the road. Rain was coming down in a heavy sheet and I turned to see the car headlights beaming into the night.

There was glass all around me and another car's lights shining into my face. I slowly pushed myself up and the asphalt bit at the palms of my hands. Pulling my hair from my face I turned and saw papa lying on the road.

"Papa!" I called.

There was no sight of dad and I stood up on shaky legs and ran over to where papa laid before falling down next to him. Pain shot up my knees and the pain in my side was throbbing but I had to make sure that papa was okay.

"Papa," I repeated, not recognizing my own voice.

I couldn't tell if the roaring in my ears was my own blood or the rain beating down onto the road. There were voices of other people but that didn't matter.

My shaking hands reached out to touch him and then I saw all of the blood. It splashed and mixed with the water and rain that was one the road already, the lights of our car illuminating it and giving it a bold color in the grey and black dark of night.

"Papa," I whimpered as my whole body shook.

A part of me knew that he was gone already and a part of me wanted to believe that he still had a chance.

The blood matting his hair and the rain washing it away.

"Papa."