Say It If It's Worth Saving Me

5. At Home

"Alright," dad said as he carried a box into the living room where I was waiting.

My ugly brown hair was pulled up into a bun to keep it out of my face. Dad set the box on the coffee table in front of where I was sitting on the couch.

Our living room was a typical living room with the front door near the wall where the doorway to the kitchen was. There was a huge window to the right of the door and then the tv sat on the adjacent right wall. The couch was positioned right in front of the tv with the coffee table sitting comfortably in the middle of the room with plenty of walking space. Dad's recliner chair was to the right of the couch.

On the wall behind the couch, where there was walking space and a hallway just on the other side of the wall, was a collage of framed photos. The pictures in those frames ranged from pictures of us on vacation, baby me to current me, and dad and papa when they first got together. Ever since papa died, all the pictures with him were taken down so now there were awkward holes in our photo wall.

"One box for tonight," he decided.

"Okay, let's do this," I scooted forward.

After papa died, we had shoved every last thing of his into boxes and left them all in his old office. It hurt too much to see any remaining piece of him in the house shortly after he died so it made it easier on dad for all of it to be hidden. However, a therapist suggested that it would be healthy for us to go through all of his things and embrace the feelings that we get.

It usually ended in tears.

"What's in this one?" I asked as he sat down to my left on the couch.

"I believe it's just random things," he answered.

I nodded my head and opened the flaps of the box and pulled out a handful of things as dad got up to get the "get rid of" box. It was best if we got ride of some of these things because we couldn't keep all of them forever. It hurt to part ways with papa's things but it was best for everyone and papa would appreciate the spring cleaning that he never did.

We spent two hours painfully going through the items in the box. I had been on and off crying for the past thirty minutes and dad was pretty quiet. Looking up from the photo album in my lap, I saw dad leaning over, head in his left hand while the right one held the chain around his neck.

I knew that he was crying without a second thought, we both did that a lot these days. I also knew that in his right hand he was holding the wedding bands that him and papa had exchanged when they had a wedding ceremony.

I had been about six when they got 'married' and I was the flower girl and my brother had been the ring bearer. We were wearing matching colors and I knew that the dress I had worn was hiding in one of the boxes up in the attic.

I closed the photo album and put it aside before wrapping my arms around him and resting my cheek on his shoulder. My left hand rubbed up and down his back soothingly, "I know it hurts, I miss him too."

"I haven't even told Tyler," he confessed.

"What?" I jerked away.

Papa had passed nearly six months ago and, "You haven't told Tyler?"

"I don't have the heart to tell him," he sighed heavily. "I know that I need to because he's my son and your brother but I just, I-"

"We can go visit him and tell him together," I decided. "We can go tomorrow morning."

We sat in silence for a little while longer before dad sighed and leaned back. Letting my arms fall away from him, I turned back to look at the box.

"I think we've had enough for tonight," he declared before he started to put things away.

I took the box back to the office while dad put the get-rid-of box back by the front door where it always sat. Closing the office door, I turned as dad came down the hall.

"Try to get some sleep," he told me as he shuffled by.

"You too," I replied. "Love you."

"Love you too, night sweetie," he replied over his shoulder before disappearing into his bed room.

I did the same and retreated to my own bedroom.

My room wasn't anything fancy or amazing, it was a simple four wall that were painted a pale blue color. My closet was to the right and started at the corner and went about four feet across the wall. It used to have a door but the door was useless so dad had removed it and put up a hogwarts crest banner to hang over it.

My bed sat in the left corner of the room, up against the wall and was stacked with pillows and plushes. There was a window in corner of the left wall and the far wall was where my vanity stood. It was cluttered with makeup and jewelry. There was also a desk against the right wall and my laptop chilled out on top of it.

The walls weren't crazy covered with anything with the exception of some posters from concerts, photos with friends, a string of fairy lights, and my vinyl collection.

My phone had been on the charger since I got home and it was lit up with notifications from social media and messages. I fell onto my bed with a sigh and picked up my phone off of the nightstand that sat next to my bed.

There were several texts from Ryon asking if I was going to be getting on Toon Town tonight. One from Michael wondering if I was going to be taking my camera to the show. Another from Ashton asking if I needed a ride to the venue. And one from Luke asking if I was okay.

I chose to just go to bed.

Author's Note: I hope you're enjoying the story this far. Let me know what you think.