He's Fine

It's Okay

Lance's motto was 'fake it until you make it'. That seemed like it was all he did anymore though.

"Hey Pidge, you up for a round of Killbot Phantasm 4™?" Lance asked. He noticed that the youngest of them had been looking a bit stressed lately, and thought she would enjoy a  break.
He, of course, was wrong and seemingly worsened her mood.
"Lance, please, just go away. I'm too busy to spend time with anyone. I'm working on writing on new coding system for Green, and I really don't want you bothering me right now." She replied shortly.
"Oh, yeah, sure, see you later" He was feeling a little disappointed, but he wouldn't let it show.

Lance sighed at the memory, rubbing his face. 'Playing video games just isn't as fun without Pidge', thought the teen as he put away the game.

'Maybe Hunk will spend some time with me. I could help taste test his newest dishes.' he thought as he went to look for his best friend. As he wandered the halls, looking for his friend, he heard what sounded like laughter coming from the lounge. Lance had always loved the sound of laughing, it reminded him of home. He smiled as he thought of the times when he had made his màmà laugh, she had the most beautiful laugh.

As he walked into the room, his smile faded. Everyone was watching a movie, even Pidge. The fact that they hadn't even thought to tell him hurt, but what hurt the most was that Pidge was with them after she told the boy she was too busy to spend time with him.

He turned to leave but, unfortunately, someone saw him."My boy, come, join us!" Said Coran. Ignoring the groans from Allura and Keith, he walked towards them, forcing a smile on to his face. "What are we watching?" He asked as he sat next to Shiro. Everyone but Coran shushed him. "Well my boy, this is an old Altean film about a druid fighting against their tyrannical monarchy and bringing justice to those it wronged." He said, twirling his moustache.

"Coran, those words are too advanced for Lance to understand." Keith said with a grin.  Ouch. Does Keith really think he's that stupid? "It's a movie about a magic person fighting their bad government and helping the people who were hurt by it." Hunk said.

Lance forced a laugh. "Thanks bro," he said as he plastered a grin on his face, "but I'm feeling pretty tired. I'm just gonna hit the sack, enjoy the movie though." No one gave an indication that they even heard so he turned to leave. The second he faced away he could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

As he walked to his room the only thought going through his head was 'Why, why do they ignore me, why do they hate me, is it because they think I'm just a stupid goofball who can't take anything seriously, is it because I'm not good enough?' he could feel the wetness of his tears as they rolled down his face. He quickly wiped his face. He didn't want anyone to see him crying. They already think he's stupid and useless, what would they say if they thought he was a crybaby too?

He heard a noise behind him and he whipped around. It was Hunk, looking at him nervously. "Hey, are you okay? I didn't mean to make you upset with what I said, I meant it as a joke," he said shuffling and feet and staring at his fingers as he twiddled them nervously, "I'm really sorry. I care about you so much, and I can't stand the thought of you hurting, whether it's physically or mentally."

Lance felt blessed to have such a kind and considerate best friend. "It's fine Hunk, I'm okay," he reassured him softly, lying to both himself and his friend," It'll take a lot more to hurt me" Hunk didn't look convinced but still said,"Okay, but are you sure?". Lance laughed softly, " Yeah, I'm sure. Just come over here and give me a hug, you big teddy bear."

Hunk rushed to where his friend was standing and enveloped him in a hug. It was the most relaxed and cared for Lance had felt in a while. He could feel the warmth of the hug seeping through his clothes into his bones. He fisted his hands into Hunk's shirt, and buried his head into Hunk's chest.

Begrudgingly, he tore himself from the hug. "I'm gonna go get some sleep now, you go finish watching that movie". Hunk nodded,"Alright, but are you sure that you're okay." "I am Hunk," he said, patting the larger man's arm, "Now go finish that movie."

Lance saw Hunk hesitating, unsure of whether he should stay with his friend or leave. He gave Hunk a gentle nudge towards the directions of the others, "Go," he said giving him a smile, "I'm fine, I promise" Hunk slowly walked away, occasionally looking over his shoulder to check on his friend.  After Hunk left him standing in the hall he felt the ache of the cold pressing in on him. He shivered, wrapping his jacket around himself tighter.

Once he made it to his room, he locked the door and crawled into his bed. He curled up under the covers and hugged his pillow to his chest as his self deprecating thoughts returned.

You're worthless

Even your 'friends' hate you

Hunk doesn't care about you, he just pities you

You don't deserve to live

You're just here because you can fly the Blue Lion

Kill yourself

KILL YOURSELF

K I L L    Y O U R S E L F

He let out the tears he had been holding back earlier.That's how he fell asleep, clinging to his pillow as if was his only life line with tears streaming down his face.

He missed the old days back at The Garrison. Yeah, Iverson was a dick, but at least he had all of his friends. Up here in space though, for the first time in his life, he felt alone. He hated it.

This isn't my first story but it is the first one I've ever published. I just never thought any of my writing was good. So usually as soon as I finished, I would read over it, hate it, and delete. I guess I'm just trying to spice up my life, cause my life is pretty bland. If you ate my life you would probably be like "What type of flavor is this, it tastes like tears and stale bread"