Innocent Tears

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“Beam’s POV”

I kept walking endlessly on the white field of nothingness. Aside from the white pavement and clear smoke that enveloped my surrounding, there’s nothing more to expect in this place. As I gaze to the farthest sight I can reach, it’s clearly a wide vivid horizon of pure bliss. The tranquility and peace of this place brings me to ease. All my worries are slowly flushed into the subtle sound of a flowing stream. The pain that I was going through right before I came to this place has long been gone. So this is what it feels to die and this must be the afterlife.

As I wander around, I can’t help but think of my parents. I would give up everything just to be able to see them for last time or be able to kiss them or hug them before I depart. I miss the both of them. I already have my plans to visit them during the semester break, unfortunately, this incident happened. I cannot imagine the pain it would cost my mom and dad when they receive the news of my death. It must be unbearable for any parent to know that their child had to pass away earlier than them. It should never be the case for any parent. I hope they can continue on without me.

Those two morons, Phana and Kit, I just pray that they won’t do anything irrational on my wake. Thinking back on all the mess that we’ve been through, I can’t help but to shed tears and smile at the same time. They were more important to me than friends, they were my brothers. They know me very well. They know that I cannot tolerate sad moments, so I expect them not to grieve on my wake. Phana might probably bring out his compilation of my stolen pictures and make fun of me to keep it lively. Kit will probably share to everyone the troubles I’ve faced in middle school including the time that I’ve cut classes and all my failed love confessions in high school.

 Kit will probably share to everyone the troubles I’ve faced in middle school including the time that I’ve cut classes and all my failed love confessions in high school

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Forth.. I just hope that he is safe wherever he is. He is the one that I’m most worried about. He might blame himself for my death. I don’t want him to feel that way. He never wanted to be involved in this mess. Forth never intend to be the engineering moon in the first place. The time that I spent with him were the happiest moment of my life. I could never wish for a more perfect lover than him; gentle, understanding, sweet and caring. His looks are just an added bonus. May he find someone who can reciprocate that kind of affection. In the future, I wish for him to live happily and have a loving family of his own.

My flashbacks and thoughts were momentarily disturbed by a faint voice of a young boy. I recall a story from my mother once when I was a kid. She told me that when she was in coma back at the hospital, a young boy appeared before her. In her dreams, the young boy told her to go back. I wonder if the voice I’m hearing is the same boy that once appeared to my mother.

As I come closer towards the voice of the crying boy, the clearer his sobs become. He is calling out to his mother. Maybe he got separated and now he’s lost. Poor boy; He must be here somewhere. He’s probably alone and scared. The closer I get to the voice, the warmer I felt.

At first I thought that the warm sensation was due to the change in temperature. What I realized soon after I get closer and closer to the voice was a warm feeling inside my chest. It’s the same atmosphere I feel when I am around my family and friends.

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