Haunted Love / / Harry Styles

Chapter 4

With hands in our pockets,

this world doesn't have to end.

No grand finale.

Hands in our pockets,

we'll march into the sun.

March Into The Sun- Echosmith

I always got told by my grandmother that I shouldn't always feel so connected to the rain. She told me I needed to express everything within and around me. She told me that I needed to be attached to the sun, just as attached to it as I was to the rain. I use to always roll my eyes at her, because for one, we lived in a desert, two, I had to deal with it. My whole life it seemed as if I had tried to live with learning how to cope with the sun, but it took forever.

When I was 14, my brother took me away from my demons. He realized how bad my life was and knew he had to do something about it. I had been almost killed twice in a matter of only a month, and he was terrified of what would happen to me. He thought I wouldn't be able to survive them for that much longer, and thought I would become like my best friend Heather.

When I was around age 12, I met my best friend Heather. It was the first day of junior high and we were placed next to each other in math class. She had a Fall Out Boy shirt on, and I freaked out a bit because she was the only person who had seemed to know about the band. We introduced ourselves to each other, and found out we had a lot more classes together. Throughout that year we began hanging out and became glued at the hip.

Carrol eventually became friends with her, but not as much as I did. Heather had been having a really hard time in her life and had a huge breakup with this guy Jace she had been going out with. Jace totally hurt her, and after that she became bad. Heather had been cutting for the longest time to get rid of her pain, and after a while she told me it wasn't enough.

One night I got a call, she told me that she wanted to die and she was saying goodbye. The next thing I knew was that I was running into her room finding a noose around her neck, and no heartbeat. It was painful, and I knew my brother thought I would become like her if he didn't do something.

When my brother moved me to California, everything was foreign to me. Utah had been my home my whole entire life, and I was so use to the winter there. The cold and bitter winters, but then bright cold springs. The summers were exhausting. No, horridly exhausting. The heat was unbearable at times, and there wasn't anything you could really do. The fall was the best, and I miss it but I can live without it.

When my brother took me to California, I got to live with my sister in-law Alyse and my niece in a little, but big house for a family. He took me in and I was sort of scared. Not because of moving to a new place, but because I felt like my demons would come back to haunt me. My manager Lacy informed me right before I moved, that I had gotten a contract for a disney movie I auditioned for. It made more reasons to why I needed to move to Cali.

There were a lot of things I had to adapt to by moving to California, but the sun was the most. The sun seemed like it was blazing hot and I felt as if I were literally living in hell. That was until my brother and I began surfing everyday.

The sun brought a smile to my face every time I saw it. It felt amazing on my skin, and it blended perfectly with the cold ocean water. The feeling of riding a wave felt as if I was relieving my soul. When the water would splash upon me and rinse me, I embraced it. It was a hobby to surf- to be out in the ocean. I felt like I could be anything. I was a fish in the sea that couldn't be stopped when I was out there. I could go as far, and deep in the water and not care about the unexplained. The sun, and ocean have become one of my reliefs. My soul was in love with the rain, but I was also in love with the sun.