Just Desserts

Chapter 15

Dean

It was the middle of the night when I finally decided to crawl out of bed. I made my way down the stairs to grab a beer because I decided that I wasn't going to be able to go to sleep again. There was a slight sniffling sound coming from the couch which made me halt.

I stalked towards the couch only to find Sam curled up in a ball, facing the back of the couch, crying. I quickly rushed around the couch to sit next to him. I shook his shoulder and the look he gave me made my heart shatter.

His eyes were swollen and red. Tears slid from his eyes quickly and his eyes looked so broken. "S-Sam?" I aksed quietly.

He shrugged his sholder, trying to move my hand as he faced the couch again. "Sammy... talk to me."

"I don't want to Dean."

I grabbed his shoulder roughly and turned him over, making him look at me. "I don't care if you want to talk about it or not Sam."

"Just leave me alone Dean." he snapped. I jumped, slightly scared at the tone of his voice. I only remember him yelling like that when he was talking to dad. Only once when talking to dad and that was right before he left for Stanford.

"Fine Sammy... fine." 

I huffed and left for the kitchen and grabbed a beer. I sat at the table thinking about everything that Sam was going through and how he was acting. Then I decided that we needed to have this conversation anyway. I grabbed another beer for same and then went back to the couch and handed it to Sam.

"We are going to talk. I don't care what you say about it... we need to." Sam was about to protest but I glared at him and he sighed in defeat.

"Fine..." he growled.

"Sam... why are you so upset?"

"You don't get it Dean."

"Then explain it to me. I understand that your soulmate left and I know it sucks but people can have multiple soulmates... plus you were going to marry her before she died."

"Dean.... it's... I don't know how to explain it." he said quietly. "Or where to start."

"Start from the beginning."

"Well... as you know... I was going to marry Jessica but she died. I had a hard time getting over her and I didn't... not until I met Gabe. I was depressed Dean. My every waking moment had hurt. I didn't want to be in a world without the love of my life. I only continued on because you needed me. Dad was gone and so was mom. You had lost everyone and I didn't want you to be alone."

I nodded, waiting for him to continue and very happy that he stayed. "Well I had slowly gotten over her but I knew that she was gone and not coming back. I still hadn't slept well and was constantly tired but then Gabriel showed up. I thought he was Cas at first but of course he wasn't."

"He was just standing there awkwardly. Then he saved us a few times in that motel room. Of course we had to come here and he had to be stupid and go get hurt, which of course hurt me. Then we figured out that we were soulmates. Then we destroyed the demon at the club and went on a date..."

"Sam... I don't understand how this has to do with anything." I mumbled. He glared at me and I shut my mouth and listened to him. 

"It was the best date I had ever been on. I never thought about Jessica whenever I was with him. I could be myself and he wouldn't judge and he knew about my life and didn't care. It was the happiest I've ever been. More than when I got a high enough score on the SAT that I could become a lawyer. More happy than I was when I searched for wedding rings or when we killed the yellow eyed demon."

"I didn't have to deal with anything. I didn't have to fight demons or monsters. I could just... live." I smiled slightly. Sam was happy and everything he described seemed fantastic. It seemed like a dream.

"But..." Then Sam's face darkened and I started to worry as well as realize what made him so upset. "...then Jessica came back. It was too good to be true. I spent years trying to get over her and she was just suddnely... back. Everything changed in that one moment. I was torn between two people I loved dearly. One being an angel and the other being previously dead."

"I didn't want to have to choose. Well... I never had that choice. Gabriel made that choice for me. He said goodbye and I realized that this was the end. I was going to lose my soulmate and I was crushed.... I just... even now... after convinving myself that he wanted it and he'd be happier, and he was an angel so it wouldn't work anyway.... I still can't get over that small time we had." He stopped talking for a moment as he cried.

"I loved him Dean... more than anyone ever. Even more than Jess who I was going to marry... and it hurts... it hurts so bad now that he's gone." I wrapped my arm around him as he curled himself into my side as he cried himself to sleep. I slowly slid out of his grasp almost knocking over an empty bottle as I did so. At some point I must have gotten a few more beers because there were five empty bottles lying on the table.

Then I also realized that I was still on the same bottle. Sam had been drinking a lot which wasn't like him at all. Then I also realized that he was in a similar state after Jess had died. It wasn't nearly as bad though.... but the crying and lots of drinking had been similar.

This wasn't good. It didn't matter that Jessica was back because as much as he loved her... he just lost his soulmate and that was something you couldn't just get over. I couldn't imagine it if Cas decided to leave me one day.

I took another sip of beer as I walked outside. I walked by all the cars, taking in all the rust and damage that the cars around him had taken. I decided to rest against one car, which was a model very similar to my own.

I took another sip of beer and looked up at the sky, leaning back against the hood of the car until I was lying down. "This whole thing is a mess. I wish there was something I could do to fix it." 

A sudden flash of light appeared and I quickly covered my eyes so I wouldn't go blind. "Dean... we need to talk."

"You aren't going to leave me right?" I asked kinda scared.

"No. Of course not. We need to talk about Sam and Gabe."

"Oh. Okay. Thank God." I sighed. Cas sat down next to me on the car.

"We need to get them back together. Gabriel is a mess. He is trying to smile and joke around like normal but we can tell that he isn't okay and he's an angel so I imagine that Sam is probably worse off."

"You assume correctly. He is terrible Cas. He downed 5 beers in 10 minutes. We need to do something. Maybe you can talk to Gabriel."

"I can try. I'll see you later Dean." he said, pulling me in for a kiss before disappearing once again.