wondrous • gilbert blythe

secrets are meant to be told

Dear Adelaide,

I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. Your father and I were overjoyed to find out you were a girl. Neither of us could have handled a boy, we had agreed. The smile on his face when he had you in his arms for the first time was unforgettable. That day was one of the happiest days I lived. I had an amazing, loving husband, and our little girl had just arrived into the world. Life can be good sometimes.

Things went downhill pretty fast for us after he passed, didn't they? It is nobodies fault other than my own, Adelaide. I made a few wrong choices that led to worse things, and I am more sorry than you could ever know. I never want you to blame yourself for any of this, because it is not your fault. George was an awful man, and I pray that you never come across another person like him in your lifetime. Never allow anyone to push you around, and follow your heart, not your brain. Most of the time, a person's heart is much brighter than their mind. Do what you know is best, Adelaide.

I truly hope that you can move on. You are a strong, beautiful, and brave girl who does not allow others to get in between what you want. You have an unimaginably great life ahead of you. Times can get hard, trust me, but the sun always comes out after the rain. Adelaide, I love you so very much, always remember that. I'm sorry.

There is one more thing that you should know. I never told you, I knew it would cause too much strain between your father and I--

Adelaide stopped reading quickly stuffed the flimsy piece of notebook paper under her pillow as she heard someone opening the door. Ruby stepped into the room, silently questioning Adelaide if she could enter, before shutting the door and sitting on the bed next to her.  Adelaide had taken the Gillis' offer to stay in their extra bedroom while things were figured out. She hadn't left that room in three days other than to use the restroom. Anne and Gilbert had both attempted to visit, but received a small amount of words from her.

"I read this thing in a book once, and it just came to mind again. Apparently, if someone is grieving, and they do not want to talk about it, it helps if someone else talks about their own problems," Ruby did not make eye contact with Adelaide whilst talking. Adelaide looked at the petite blonde with uncertain eyes, and almost snorted. Since when did Ruby read?

"..and I seem to have a decent amount of problems. If you don't mind, I thought we could try it out." Ruby glanced at the older girl. She was ghostly pale and had large, dark circles underneath her eyes. She must have been not sleeping.

"Alright, go ahead." Adelaide gave a half smile to Ruby, who grinned and placed her hands together.

Ruby then rambled to Adelaide for at least two hours about mindless things. She talked about how she might have a crush on someone, and reassured Adelaide it was not Gilbert. She also babbled on about how terrible she was at literature. No matter how many times Mr. Phillips went over a topic, she just could not understand it for the life of her.

Adelaide made sure to nod every now and then, and give her opinion between stories. If she was being honest, it did help to get her mind off of things. Ruby was the type of person who could always cheer you up. She was very bright, but just didn't have the mindset to apply herself with. Adelaide was fond of Ruby, even though she didn't really like her to begin with.

By the time that Ruby leaves her room to eat dinner with her family. Adelaide can't help but move across to the window seat and stare at the house that held so many horrors. Looking at it, the large brick building crawling with ivy looked normal, nice even. The bloodstains on the floor would say differently. If walls could talk, the ones in that house would definitely have a lot to say.

Adelaide hadn't completely wrapped her mind around what had happened yet. It was as if she was in a different dimension, and couldn't really see what was going on. The constant rumors going around town were enough to tell her that it wasn't just a dream, though.

To top it off, the note gave a whole other shock. Adelaide had read it at least thirty times now, over and over until the words finally processed. Grabbing it from underneath the soft pillow, Adelaide started reading at the point she had left off before Ruby had came in.

There is one more thing that you should know. I never told you, I knew it would cause too much strain between your father and I. Before I had even met your father, there was another man. He was kind to me, something I had never experienced before. We had something for a few months, until I figured out he was being kind to half of the other girls in town. I broke it off for obvious reasons, and found out I was pregnant the next day. I shouldn't have told him, but, selfishly, I did it because I thought he might stay with me, only me. Of course, he did not. He demanded that once the baby was born, it would be his. I denied this repeatedly, but he was wealthy and there was nothing I could do about it. I met your father a few, depressing years later and he gave me a reason to live again. You gave me a reason to live again, Adelaide. I never told him, only because I didn't know how he would react. I am telling you because I know you have nobody left, and maybe your older brother could somehow give you the childhood you deserve, as I could not. Last I heard his father had passed (thank god) and he was living in St. Pierre. I hope you can find him, please tell him that I am sorry. I love you Adelaide. Stay strong for me.

The paper had become so worn that it had started to rip at the edges. There were tear stains, and speckles of dried blood, but Adelaide payed no mind as she pulled it to her chest and hugged it as if it was her mother.

She had to find her brother, for Alice's sake.