The President's Secretary (Evil Morty X Reader)

Housemate in the Capital

You hate to admit it, but Epsilon has been a surprisingly good housemate for the past few weeks. None of the guards can be bigoted towards her because they don't know who she is. You've seen her with a strange looking portal gun. It's unlike any you've seen. It's a lot less blocky than others you've seen, and it almost looks military-grade, like a real gun. But her primary weapon is a high-powered sniper rifle. The other day, she showed it off to you like a teenager showing off a new car to her friends. Unlike all the other laser powered guns you've seen, Epsilon's rifle shoots archaic gunpowder bullets. It's a bit standard, but to each their own. Though the ammunition is plain, the weapon itself is anything but. Every single piece looks like it moves with the utmost precision and accuracy without a single thing out of place, aside from the small scratches and scuffs on the jet black paint job. By the muzzle, you can see thin silver letters spelling the name "Bonnibel." When you asked Epsilon about the engraving, all she said was that she named it after someone important.
You two have gotten along extremely well, although Epsilon is quite secretive about her personal life. All you know about her is that she lived in a place that used to be Alaska, she had to go fishing in the Bering Sea, and that she used to have a Malamute-Husky mix named Misha. When she talks about her home life, she gets depressed and stops talking almost immediately. You want to tell Epsilon that you're concerned for her, but you practically just met a few days ago. You'll let her talk about it when she's ready.

You sit at your desk, repairing some lose parts in your right arm with a screwdriver. The doors to your office swing open and Epsilon runs in, clutching a tablet in her arms. You fumble with your screwdriver, accidentally getting it stuck in your arm.
"Shit..." you mutter, looking up at Epsilon, "I thought I locked the door."
"Sorry, I just found something out about Evil Morty." She walks over and sits on your desk, looking down at the screws protruding from your arm. "Need help with that?"
"Uhm... that'd be nice." You sigh. Epsilon firmly grasps the screwdriver in her hand.
"Ready?" She looks over at you. "One, two, three!" She yanks the tool out of your arm, causing you to jump out of your seat.
"Mother of!!— rrrrhg..." you hiss in pain, slamming your other fist on your desk and causing your pencil holder to fall over, "I'm fine... I'm good... what were you saying?"
"Oh, right." Epsilon sets her tablet down in front of you and starts to pick up the pencils rolling around on your desk. "So, y'know how the US government can check the internet search history of persons of interest? Well... I found a way to do that with the travel history of portal guns! And I think I found the portal gun that Evil Morty has been using!"
You look at the chart intently.
Epsilon points at two boxes in the chart. "Look here. It says here that the portal gun was used to travel to the Citadel at nine o'clock sharp, the exact time when you began your speech. The latitude and longitude even matches up with the office building the sniper, aka Evil Morty was on the roof of when I attacked him. Not only that, he fled through a portal at nine twenty two, the same minute you were shot. The twelve subsequent entries take place within a span of five minutes. He was rapidly dimension hopping to make sure he wasn't being followed. I should know, I've done that so many times before. It's like the oldest trick in the book."
You're in shock. The evidence is irrefutable. "What the— I didn't even know this was an actual thing! How did you do this?"
"What can I say?" Epsilon chuckles. "I have a knack for computers and techy stuff."
You laugh, dumbfounded. "Like hell you do!! I could start a FBI here with you around! You're incredible!"
Epsilon places her palm on her cheek and bats her eyelashes at you. "Oh, stop. You're makin' me blush," she teases.
"I say we plan an ambush for this Friday night." You stand up. "Prepare everything you need, and meet me in my office at eleven pm."
You two shake on it and head to your rooms to sleep and plan out your next moves.