The Mystery Of Spiderus [ON HOLD]

Chapter 3: Marshall in the Middle

Hello, this is Spiderus. Continuing on from the last chapter, the reason that Marshall could not eat cow penis is... First, let's see what happened when he finally got home from the asexual rally.
"Hi bitch, what took you so long?!" I sensually said to Marshall, "Let's sex"
"Umm no Spiderus, I've got some exciting news!", Marshall shouted at me rapperly. But before I could get his exciting news (stop being asexual, maybe?), guess who walked in the door?! The dumb ugly-ass fat-ass bitch ho motherfacker n***a c***.
"WHY IS SHE STILL LIVING???!!! What did you do?!" I screamed at him! "MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST DIVORCE ME. WHATS THE POINT OF BEING TOGETHER IF YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE MY SEX???"
"Well, I found her unconscious, but anyways. The reason I got a truck was because, while at the park, guess what I found?! Weeds! Everywhere! So before the gardener sprayed them with poison, I packed them all into this truck!" Marshall happily said.
"So?" I, Spiderus replied.
"Well, they are saying on the news that medical marrywana is legal, so we can make her smoke the weeds ten times a day, so she'll be so drunk, she won't annoy us, AND we don't even have to get in trouble with the law!"
"Yasssss King!" I was so happy at him that I began to sex him! Let's say, it was a very intellectual time, if you know what I mean. But before we could put a condom on....
"Guys, IM HERE plz FACKING stop and why can't I do that with Johnathan, like don't be a hypocrite fack, just stop FACKING." Melanie screeched, and then stormed out, hopefully to die.

The next day, I woke up, and made breakfast. Luckily, Marshall was still sleeping, so I decided to play a little prank on him. You see, as I was making us cheese noodles, I inserted tiny weeds into his noodles, so he could sex me again, but just as the noodles (and weed) were cooking, he came out.
"Good evening Spiderus, can I please tell you the new I was trying to say yesterday?"

Tune in next time!