The Mystery Of Spiderus [ON HOLD]

Chapter 6: The Modding Of the Nintendo Wii

A/N: The author (Benji) does not necessarily share the same opinions as the humble Spiderus, so you shall not get offended by any of the books contents. He is Aussie anyways, soo......

Howdy mate, ya windows a lil broken, ey?", the random criminal spoke. This stranger had an unusual accent; Something in between Australian, English and Aussie. His hair was that of seal, and his face was like a tattoo of a deformed Orangutang drawn by a three-year-old.
"Who are you, and for what reason do you explain your entrance?" I questioned him.
"Nuthin' much, but oy offa a service no won else can"  The slightly annoying boi replied. Then my eyes met his strange structure for the first time. He had a strongly greasy, unwashed and green mop of hair. Yes, he was A HUMAN!!! Now I dislike homo sapians just as much as the next sentient animal, and this one had an Australian accent and aura, so my emotions particularly wanted this foreign motherfucker to leave.  However, he wished to offer me, my artist and my household community service (apology for his ways, maybe). As long as his aura did not rub off onto any of my furniture or beings, perhaps we could put our efforts into a slavery contract. First we shall have to hear what he shall offer to my wellbeing.
"Well, what exactly is it that you shall do for me, boi?" I requested to him.
"Mate, Jesenney is moy name, and Nintendo Wii modding/hacking is moy gayme! This Jesenney offered to me, "If ya want, oy will mod or hack ya Wii for ya!"
"My mental organ understands. When shall we perform this process?"
"How 'bout on toosday?"
"That will be delightful!" I couldn't wait for this curious figure to get my personal Nintendoo Wii console hacked into and modified.the

SPIDERUS LESSONS: many mortal humans are unsure as to what the purpose of a modified Wii is. Well, hacking and modifying your console allows you to do thing such as: get video games for FREE within the law, Bri most importantly, complete adventures as the stunning Spiderus in Smash Brothers, Mario Kart, Shrek and of course, Cooking Mama! Anyways, back to the story.

I wants to celebrate with Jesauce, however, it appears that she had DISAPPEARED!!!! I didn't know she was a magician. Anyways.

[ON TUESDAY]
So I was eating my diet organic brick salad, with my buttocks resting on my cushioned seat, when I heard another living organism smashing my door, I could tell that they were tying to break in. I decided to do them a favour by unlocking the entrance to my personal household. It turns out that the organism that was trying to destroy my homely home was the ulovely Jesenney. I placed my filthy claws into the button on the door, and it swung open fwoosh! I found out that he had dressed in a special "electrifying" metal suit. Despite being a fucking ugly homo sapian, he was dressed rather dazzling.
"G'day, matey! How's shit goin' for ya?" Jesenney cheerfully greeted 'Me'.
"Quite well, fine intellectual sir" I replied to his facial structure.
I invited him 'Inside', to my household that I had recently thoroughly scrubbed with toxic chemicals. I was unsure if the human digestive system could handle digesting my house. Oh well. We waddled right into the section of the household specifically made for video gaming. I handed him my Nintendo Wii console.
"Herm. What do ya have for it? Ya can't hack ya Wii if ya don't got and good games for it" he asked my soul, grasping and quietly observing the console. He was probably admiring the design improvements my claws did to it.
"Don't let your gross, Australian soul fill with anxiety. I have only the finest collection. I own physical releases of Dora: Kingdom Fantasy, Go, Diego Go!, Call of Duty Black Ops, and Chicken Shoot!"
"WAT da actual fuck?!?! Oy am nut dealing wit dose games! Oy am leaving!"
I felt my soul fall.

Tune in next time!
A/N: Sorry it was so late. I haven't been bothered writing much but I wrote a little a day, so that's how it was writte. However, I do still plan on writing much more, so please stick around for that! Spiderus would not be happy, now would she?