The St. Pyres Boarding School

'Grab the life by the balls'

'Now don't fall in love with Skye, it will not go your way.' Jay said as we started walking to the hanging spot.

'Wasn't planning on it,' I replied, 'but no promises, I fall helplessly in love with every girl I talk to.'

'You've never had a girlfriend have you?'

'Nope.'

'Dude you're like sixteen, seventeen and not even ugly, although you could use a decent hair cut,' he said patting me on the head, 'anyways we're here.'

The hanging spot seemed to be just a bush. 'Uh where?' I asked

'Have faith my child,' he smiled as he dove straight into the bush, 'come on!' he said after a second. I stepped in after him a little hesitantly but sure enough I came through the greenery and into a surprisingly spacious area littered by chip bags and cigarette butts. Sitting in one of the chairs was one the most beautiful girls I've ever seen.

She was wearing a white tank top with black ripped jeans and was holding a lit cigarette. Her hair was chocolatey brown, wavy and fell in perfect places around her shoulders.

'I'm very glad I didn't make that promise,' I whispered to Jay who was now sprawled on one of the couches. 'You'll regret that.' Jay whispered back

'Who's the cutie newcomer that is currently staring at my boobs,' Skye asked. I quickly looked away embarrassed while she looked me up and took a long drag from her smoke. 'Oh that's Tobias but he needs a nickname, cuz I don't like his name.'

'Uh hi,' I smiled shyly giving Jay a side eye.

'Hmm I'll have to hear a bit about him first,' Skye winked at me. I have never been this attracted to anyone before. 'Have a seat my man.' She smiled and nodded towards an ugly, green couch chair. I sat down somewhat awkwardly.

'Okay jay tell me what happened when you first met him.'

'I'm glad you asked,' Jay grinned, 'well I slammed his mother with door...'

'Nice.'

'Then I told him about my no porn rule.'

'So weird... everyone watches porn dude.' she shook her head

'Fuck off, it's demeaning to the body, I've told you millions of times that the body is sacred. The amount that you masturbate cannot be mentally healthy. Anyway I showed him around and offered him a smoke, he accepted and the proceeded to throw up... literally... just like this.' he gruesomely re-enacted the scene, surprisingly accurately.

'Jay this is legendary, but I feel like it's not quite nickname worthy.' Skye finished off her cigarette, threw it down, stamped on it and took another one out and lit it. 'I feel like he needs a chance to prove himself' she took a long dramatic drag.

'Skye the tar from your lungs could be used to create a new highway.' Jay laughed also taking a cigarette out. 'round two Tobias?'

'Um, sure why not,' I forced a smile. Skye threw one at me and Jay handed me the lighter. I took a deep breath of fresh air before I lit it and a coated my lungs with death again. Surprisingly it was a lot better than the first time. In fact it was borderline enjoyable, the head-spin was tolerable and I didn't want to throw up.

'Much better round two,' I smiled, 'I feel very calm.'

'Jeez that was anti-climactic,' Skye said looking disappointed. 'Now tell me what was the most exciting thing to happen in your obviously boring life.'

'Um probably when I made friends with a monkey in Thailand... Yeah I hear how lonely that makes me sound.' I cringed at myself.

'See all you need to do dude is live by my motto...' She stood up on the couch and blew out some smoke pretending, I assumed, to be a dragon, then she threw the cigarette on the ground and reached up with a clawed hand and yelled at the top of her lungs, 'GRAB LIFE BY THE BALLS!'